Is That All There Is?!

So the chief calls me in my waaaay back office ("The Ice Box"), as he often does, and in a stern serious tone, tells me to come up to HIS office. Uh-oh! I forgot, eyes and ears are everywhere in this place! As a current example, he caught me (via computer) on Facebook earlier in the day, even writing it on my "wall" for all the world to see! Sure I could use the argument that he was on it too, but I'm pretty sure that's an argument I would quickly lose. And as he often says, "I'm the chief that's why!"

I slowly took the perp walk dragging my feet all the way up to his office through the dingy, dimly lit hallways, with my head hung low, expecting to be rebuked, as my mind quickly raced to come up with a really clever and imaginative excuse as to why I was on FB on company time. As I reached the door to his office, I realized I had nothin', and would just man-up and take whatever punishment was coming my way.

He was on the phone as I entered, and looking up, motioned for me to sit in the electric chair. He picked up something from his desk and threw it at me. Thank God for my still employable cat-like reflexes- they still serve me well. As I look down at what he threw, 25 years of my life washed over me like a tidal wave. As I was drowning, I realized I was holding a black pleather (?) bi-fold containing my PBA Silver Life Card! This is the metal card you receive when you've worked 25 years and are about to retire.

There was no fanfare. No drama. No tears. No gold watch. No nothin', aside from the (real?) silver metal card with my name lovingly (not!) etched upon it. I looked up at the chief, hoping for a smile, or a wink, or nod, but he just motioned for me to leave.

How utterly anti-climatic! The card's NOT even gold for crap sake! Well, I guess this is one of those, don't let the door hit you on the ass, type situations............sigh.

Adios, Amigos!

For whom the Taco Bell tolls, it sadly tolls for an advertising icon. The famous Taco Bell chihuahua (Gidget) who fascinated the world in the 90's with the catch phrase, "Yo quiero Taco Bell!", died this past Tuesday from complications due to a stroke. Gidget, actually voiced by actor Carlos Alazraqui (Reno 911!) on the commercials, was 15-dog years-old when she went to that salsa and guacamole filled burrito in the sky.

Vaya con tacos, amigo!

"One Small...W-H-A-T?!

It was 40 years ago, well, a few days ago. I'm talkin' 'bout the 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 mission to the moon. When Neil Armstrong, along with fellow astronaut Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin, landed on the moon, as well as into the history books. I must also include the final member of the 3 man crew, Michael Collins who circled the moon, while the other two walked upon it.

As Armstrong exited the lunar landing module, he spoke those famous first words; "That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind." That's what we all heard, except Armstrong says that not what he said...sorta. Armstrong claims he actually said, "That's one small step for 'a' man." The 'a' apparently was not heard by those listening.

At a press conference in 1999, Armstrong insisted "the 'a' was intended." Science, and NASA, back him up. In 2006, Peter Ford, a computer programmer, ran a software analysis. While looking over the the sound wave data, he found one that would have been the missing "a." Armstrong, along with experts at the Smithsonian Institution took a look at the evidence provided by Mr. Ford, and found it convincing.

Either way, whether said or not, I think the whole damn thing is pretty amazing. The 3 astronauts recently said that we should now focus on exploration of Mars. That'll cost quite a bit of moo-la in today's fiscally challenged environment. We shall see. Thank you and good night.

R.I.P. Walter Cronkite, American television news anchorman
(1916-2009)

** Think On It! **

"The love we give away is the only love we keep."

- Elbert Hubbard, American author
(1856-1915)


Well said, Mr. H!

I know I've been posting quite a few of these filler "thought" thangs, but ya gotta admit I choose carefully and best! Hooray for myself and I!

-Stay tuned for nothing folks-

STEFANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to check your blog and it's GONE! What happened?! I hope you're OK. You were the first stranger to comment on my blog. Contact me if you can.

I have abandonment issues! :~)

** Think On It! **

"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."

- Ingrid Bergman, Swedish-born actress
(1915-1982)

** Think On It! **

"Sometimes it's worse to win a fight than to lose."

- Billie Holiday, American jazz singer
(1915-1959)

Down To The Wire!

I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but I was hoping to enter Amazon.com's 30 sec. commercial spot contest. I haven't even finished shooting my short ("The Conversation") yet. Between work, the band, a visiting friend and her son, and sadly my current sick addiction to Facebook, I haven't had much time.

My partner and me ("Cop Out Productions"), were finally able to get together this past Sunday to shoot. I only had about 3 hours to find an "actor" and location so we could shoot the footage before I had band rehearsal. Much to my surprise we were able to do most of what we set out to do.

We've needed to do a rough cut so I could have my friend from the band lay down a simple score. In a slight panic, I'd been trying to reach my partner on his cell for the past day and 1/2 with no success. My anxiety level increased as time quickly passed, when FINALLY I get a call in my office that my partner was waiting up front for me.

We quickly got the rough cut finished so my friend can add some music. Sadly I didn't realize just how short 30 seconds can be until you have to edit, as I don't have much experience in that department. We had to trim the whole beginning which I loved. We'll see tomorrow when we do the final cut. I'll need the music done by then.

We have until Friday at midnight to have this thing completed and received. Hopefully we can download it and send it as a file. Worst case scenario- we'll have to send it by courier pigeon.

Wish me luck!

I'm So Ashamed...

Now I've gone and done it. I've tread where I've dreaded to tread. I've joined Satan's playground. The communist central location known as Facebook.

I feel like a martyred hypocrite. In all honesty, the ONLY reason I joined was to track down my friend CH. Well, I succeeded, but now I'm trapped. Monsters old and new are crawling up from their dungeons, or slithering out from underneath beds everywhere. 

Old foes as well as some former Nemesis's wanting suddenly to be my "friend", after many years of regret, deep meditation, and mellowing. HELLLLLLLP MEEEEEEE!

I must admit however, it's sickly (or is that sickeningly) addictive. I feel like it's just another distraction from posting here at FLAST. It is summer however, and readership is down 5/3's, as people who have real lives find better things to do than read this drivel.

Speaking of summer, I sure hope you're enjoying yours! Don't forget to slather on some sunblock, SPF 5000.

** Think On It **

"Only a mediocre person is always at his best."

- W. Somerset Maugham

   English author and dramatist (1874-1965)

Stupid Is As Stupid Does!

This one rates pretty high on the Richter scale of DUH!

I arrive to work this morning at my usual start time of 8:30am. I soon realize that aside from dispatch, the rest of the offices are empty. "Well, at least today should be an easy day," I think, as my immediate boss(es) are MIA, apparently for the Fourth of July weekend.

That's not so unusual as today is only July 3rd, and I've had to work before on or near some of the more minor holidays. While at work I'm performing my usual hardworking tasks of reading the newspaper(s), and going out for coffee.

After working very diligently on Amazon.com, I decided to call my chief whose vacationing up in Vermont at his villa. "H-E-L-L-O" he says, as he answers his cell. "Just wanted to say hi, and see how your vaca is going," I replied. "Where are you?", he asks. "I'm at work where I'm supposed to be." "Um, yeah...you're off today you dumb-ass!" "Ooooooooh, oops." "Nice talkin to ya chief."

And there you have folks, just one more incident of me impressing myself and NO ONE else.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!, unless of course you reside outside of the good ol' USofA! Don't blow off any fingers, appendages, or other assorted body parts. With fireworks I mean.