Do You Believe in Angels?

I do. Who knows who that stranger may be standing next to you. The one you may help with a small favor, or the one who just happens to be there when you need help or are in trouble.

I pulled into my driveway after the funeral to grab a quick bite to eat before returning to work. I saw a mini van type vehicle parked on the side of the road in front of where I live. It was an older couple. As I passed by the man approached me, telling me he had run out of gas, and could I tell him where the closest gas station was.

I asked him if he intended to walk there as it was about a mile or so away on the border of the next town. I was really hungry and wanted to check my mail/email and stuff. I wanted to be selfish, but if it were me, I'd like someone to help. I grabbed a gas can from the barn around back and gave him a ride to the Shell station. I can't recall his name, but he seemed very friendly, and spoke with a slight accent. I guessed German and was correct. Hooray for me! He told me he and his wife, (who was Asian) were from Canada and were visiting family in the area.

I dropped him back at his vehicle. He and his wife thanked me, but as I turned around both of them and the car were gone. I didn't even hear it drive away. They couldn't have left so quickly. The hair on my arms, for the lack there of on my head, stood up. I got a little shaky...............................










OK...................ya got me. That last part was complete and utter horse shit! The rest of it was TRUE though. I'm not sayin' they were angels but ya never know. I'd much rather help an angel than a demon. I'm not inferring that we help people just because there's the possibility they could actually be an angel, and may smite us if we don't help. I'm just sayin'..............

It was a good day. The weather was nice. I got to say good buy to Mrs. Shropshire, and remember Martha. Hey I even got to help some old German dude from Canada, and his Asian wife. Yes. I do believe in angels. Now beat it you jackass!

Final Rest

If you scroll WAAAY down to an earlier post, you'll find that a very close friend of my family recently passed away. Her name was Joan Shropshire, but I always called her Mrs. Shropshire.

Today, September 30th 2008 at 1pm, the family held a small service in the cemetery behind where I live. It was an honor to be asked to attend. It actually worked out well as I tend to take my lunch break at that time. There were about fifteen or so of us. Mostly immediate family. The service was brief, lasting about twenty five minutes. A few things were read and many tears shed. Mr. Shropshire had brought a recording of he and his wife singing a duet. I was vaguely aware that they sung together. It was a simple song I can't recall, but it was sweetly sung with lovely harmonies. I'm a sucker for harmonies.

She was interred, although someone used the term in urned, in a memorial wall located at the back end of the cemetery. It's a small wall with many different compartments on each side. The remains; usually in a box or urn, are placed in one of these small compartments. On the exterior of each small box reads the name of the person within. I had actually at one time thought about doing this with my fathers ashes, but I don't think my crazy family were too crazy about the idea. For now Shel is in a box, in my attic, surrounded by crap. By crap I mean junk. By junk I mean stuff I own.

Just to the right of her compartment I noticed a familiar name. It was one of my former bosses from MANY years ago, who had died somewhat recently. He actually played a big part in my being hired. He liked me for some odd reason, and pushed for me to the powers that be, or actually were. I've been working at the same top secret facility for twenty four years.

I find it somewhat ironic, although I may be using that in the wrong context, that Mrs. Shropshire is now located in the same cemetery where my friend Martha is buried. Passing away two years to the day of Mrs. Shropshire's memorial service. That's comforting to me. We'll all keep an eye on each other.

Fix You

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

(Chorus)
Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
and I will try to fix you.

And high up above or down below
When your too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what your worth.

(Repeat Chorus)

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

-Coldplay

Martha My Dear............................

Martha Leaman Ankeney Schaffer

I can't believe it's already been two years since you left this mortal coil to ascend to be with the other angels. There have been very few women that have had such an impact on my life as you did on mine.

I met Martha literally by accident many years ago when she fell on the ice, striking her head. I helped her out, and we became fast friends. She taught me many things that I don't have time to go into. She, (as well as her family) became a very important part of my life. She was one of the GREATEST role models anyone could ask for. I wish I could even be half the person she was. I'd even settle for a sliver. I miss her very much and hope she is watching over me. I just hope she occasionally looks the other way! She was 89 years young.

More Stuff From Head To Blog

The jury sequestered.
Commiserating crimes committed.

The lawyers had slung their hash,
tho guilt never admitted.

The scales tip.
precariously balanced.

A courthouse built apathetic.
ghosts of truth and lies.

Await the fate of man.
Justice has no plan.

The nine return to serve
the verdict unannounced.

-CLW
All rights reserved



I have no idea what all that means. You get one phone call. Call your lawyer.

OOO-EEE-OOO-AH-AH...................

You may remember that as part of the lyrics to that classic novelty "witch doctor" song. I woke up today with a stiff, sore (get out of the gutter) back. As soon as I got to work I called "Doctor Ken" to schedule an appointment. He's a chiropractor. For many years of my life I believed these "witch doctors" to be useless medical personal who if not careful, would cause you to end up much worse than if you had not gone at all. Then one day at work, I hurt my back. Bad! One of my co-workers took me over to see DK to make an appointment. I did, and that began our secret love affair! I, through my insurance company give him money, and he kicks my ass, allowing me to rise and walk like Lazarus. He's a miracle worker and a heck of a nice guy. Boys and girls. Young and old. If you need one, and find a good one, stick with 'em. You'll be glad you did.

How was that Ken? Now give me my fifty bucks!

Shut Your Pie Hole!

I tend not to watch much TV. I don't like my schedule being dictated to me. Watch such and such, at such and such time. That's why I enjoy DVDS so much. The POWER AND CONTROL! Yes there's TIVO, but as much as people have recommended it to me, I just can't and won't embrace it.

Occasionally I'll blind buy a DVD TV season set based on the good things I've heard or read about it. The problem I've run into buying season sets is; I'm always a season behind. If the show turns out to be great, I have to wait about a year to view the next season. Just shut up you say. Just watch it on regular TV like the rest of us. End of problem Jackass! Well to that I say; yes I can, but no I won't. So there!

All the above babble leads me to this. Ladies and gentlemen of all nations; I have a new favorite show! "Pushing Daisies". I had previously viewed one episode on, (believe it or not) regular TV, sometime last year. It was OK. Beautiful to look at with it's high color saturation, but I just wasn't sucked in like I hoped I'd be. Despite that, I picked up the season 1 set about a week ago, and finished watching it last night. Wow! I'm very glad I gave it another chance. It drew me in slowly, but by the last episode I was in love. It's nice to be in love with something, if not someone.

If you haven't seen the show it's got a little bit of everything. Murder, mystery, along with some supernatural elements and even romance thrown in. It's not for everyone. It's quirky. Very witty in a dry kinda way, and it comes at you quickly. Kinda like "The Office", in the sense that you have to pay attention or you'll miss all the subtle humor, etc. It's atmospheric and "Burtonesque". It's very fairy tailish. The Pilot was directed by Barry Sonnenfeld who is a cinematographer turned director. He's also one of the shows producers. He directed films such as; The Addams Family, Men in Black, Get Shorty, and a few others. It seems pretty obvious to me, although I could be wrong, even though I'm not, that he's been heavily influenced by Tim Burton who makes beautiful looking films that tend to not be very cohesive.

The production values are amazing! This must be a very expensive show to produce. It's eye candy. It's original. I dare anyone to be able to compare it to anything that has been, or is currently out on TV. The casting is spot on. The acting very good. The show is narrated which can be difficult to pull off, but it works very well here, as the show is like a story book come to life. The sets are very cool. Lee Pace is very good as the damaged but sweet Ned. He owns a pie shop cleverly called the pie hole. Hence the title of this blog post. I'm taken with the sweet but rambunctious "Chuck", (she's a girl) as played by Anna Friel, whose Ned's childhood friend and love interest. The rest of the cast works well. I was somewhat aware of Kristen Chenoweth, (Olive) as an actress, but she's very funny as Ned's employee who's smitten with, and basically ignored by him. I have to say; Ms. Chenoweth is HOT, HOT, HOT! She's my new TV girlfriend. Dethroning Gillian Anderson. She of X-Files fame.

This show is so creative, so well written, witty and entertaining, that I fear it may not make it past, or complete season 2 which is just now airing. Unfortunately, it seems shows such as this, Wonder Falls, and Freaks and Geeks, get pulled too soon before they even gain an audience. Boy I hope I'm wrong.

Watch it. Give it a chance. I think with a show like this there are no gray areas. You'll either love it or hate it. Black and white. Done and Done!

Monday, Monday. (or) Sunny Days and Mondays Always Get Me Down

Back at work. Feeling better. Thanks for asking. Stopped raining. No more crying RJW. I hope ANYONE reading this had a good weekend.

Stay tuned. More to follow................................possibly.

The Sky Is Crying

I just left a dear friend of mine. She's very sad. My heart aches for her. It doesn't help that it's raining outside. As she wept, (which she tries very hard NOT to do) the sky wept along with her. I reminded her she's strong. She's an Aquarius after all. She just needs some time which should give her some much needed clarity and perspective. I know she'll get through this. She's great. She's one of the good ones. Beautiful inside and out. She'll be OK.

Stuff in my head

"CRY MELODIC"

The violin weeps it's melancholy melody,
Longing for ears to hear.

Cradled by hands that gently guide the bow
across strings tightly strung.

Tender plucking stir the notes
heard even by the deaf.

-CLW
All rights reserved.



"TO EVERY PURPOSE"

A season passes begrudgingly,
as nature attends the wake.

A rainy Sunday service
ending late September.

Willows weep low to the ground.
All trees will remember.

The first leaf falls.
A gentle tear slowly downward.

A chill wind blows.
Summon the coming darkness.

the metamorphosis continues.
Beckon winters snow.

Dust to dust and ashes to ashes.
The weather stays it's course.

Anticipating the resurrection.
To await the renewing bloom.

-CLW
All rights reserved.


"INTO NOTHING"

Falling slowly into nothing.
Downward spiral earthbound spirits.

Hoping for much more than something,
as evening skies fade to blue.

-CLW
All rights reserved


"REFLECTIONS"

Scratching the surface of what used to be.
Reflections I no longer see.

Through many lives lived future past.
Vague memories that never last.

Grasping tightly to loves now lost.
Defying souls outweigh the cost.

In broken glass I gaze to see.
A stranger staring back at me.

-CLW
All rights reserved


"BIG WORLD TURNING"

Let's discuss our global matters.
As the world lay all in tatters.

A blind eye turned will never see.
Avoiding responsibility.

By lessons learned you'd think they'd know.
Elected leaders come and go.

History inevitably repeats itself.
Storing Problems on a shelf.

With worthless dimes our homes are lost.
Ice caps melt. Fuels highest cost.

Too many dead as soldiers bleed.
Worthless wars caused by greed.

Where do we begin. Where should we start.
Consider November with head and heart.

-CLW
All rights reserved



I think I need to get a bit less serious.
OK, here goes:


"LUMPY McNUGGET"

Lumpy McNugget was quite insane.
The boy was born without a brain.

He'd Chase the children all around.
He'd scream and yell, but make no sound.

They said he was crazy as a loon.
Howling at the harvest moon.

He lived in a graveyard on a hill.
Then came the night when all was still.

He buried himself deep underground.
To play with all the worms he found.

-CLW
All rights reserved

T.G.I.F.c.i.s.f.k.s.a.i.c.w.f.t.w.t.f.g.h.

I actually knew what that meant when I first began typing it. Now that I'm done, I forget what it means. If I remember, Perhaps I'll tell you......................or not.

Sleep of the sleepless; or no ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

What a night!

Despite feeling crappy, and not very happy, I pressed on to make it through yesterdays workday. I'm attempting to limit my sick days as the year winds down. By the time I got home after screwing around, (not that way!) at work, I was BEAT! Tired even.

I slipped into my mighty jams, which are on the verge of becoming mighty stinky, to settle in for an evening of self pity convalescing. I considered my dinner prospects. Do I want the soup and peanut butter crackers, OR the peanut butter crackers and soup? Can you guess the choice? I fired up the ol' brick oven, (microwave) to 5000 Fahrenheit, and prepared my meal.

The evenings entertainment consisted of finishing up season 4 of "A Haunting" on DVD. That's some scary shit! Have you seen that show? I think it's on the Discovery Channel, however most of my TV viewing is on DVD, so I tend to be a season behind. I then followed that up with a Net Flix presentation of "Resurrection Mary" which turned out to be a crappy movie version based on a supposedly true ghost tale that occurs along a stretch of road in the Chicago area. Look it up on the Internet, it's pretty creepy and cool! As you may be able to tell I'm interested and occasionally fascinated with ghosts and the supernatural. I didn't finish the film as I began to get tired. I think between the boring absurdity of the lame movie, and having loaded up on generic NyQuil, not to mention my usual insomniac cocktail, I was feeling pretty good about actually falling asleep and staying asleep.

Long story, somewhat short, all I did was toss and turn ALL NIGHT LOOOOOOOOONG! I did actually manage to get about three to four hours of fitful sleep. I can survive on at least six hours, however ask any one of my victims in witness protection, and they'll tell you any less then that-watch out! I become one beastly, cranky, SOB!

Because I'm a company man, (not!) I returned to work today because the big creaky wheels don't turn without my grease! I'm very important to the day to day function at work. I'm da glue dat hold it all together. I'm also a pathological LIAR, (Thanks Snips!) although I could be lying about that as well. Needless to say, by the end of the day I was so delirious I drove my bosses car home! Really? No........not really.

I'm off the clock at 4:30pm, and I see that it's now 5:42! Something wrong with dat boy. He ain't right! I'll leave here soon to basically repeat last nights scandalous excitement. Hopefully without that pesky insomnia. Here's to sleep.

Before I go however, I'll share a little poem I wrote that popped into my head via stream of consciousness earlier in the day. It's called.............I don't know what it's called. That's NOT the title! I really don't know what it's called.

Here goes.

Tossing and turning, thoughts are burning
with answers that I lack.

Trapped in stasis that has no basis.
Move forward to go back.

Insomnia to crush my dreams,
will cause my head to spin.

As I fight delirium.
Bright lights begin to dim.


That's all folks!

The day after yesterday, but before tomorrow.

I'm STILL sick! WAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa. I was brave however, and came to work. I figured if I'm sick, I'm takin' down as many as I can with me. It was a total hackfest, with people running in all directions, covering their faces. It was great! I think I'm gonna get fired. I feel bad I had to cancel band practice. I'm sure the guys'll probably get together for a vocal rehearsal. They don't need me for that. Besides, my ears can only bleed so much. What? Sorry?

I STILL can't find my sunglasses. OK, who's effin with me?. There is a reward involved. The reward of being nice and making me happy. OK, I'll throw in some bubble gum.

Seems the cemetery board has once again put the kabosh on my halloween party plans. I was hoping this time Rick wouldn't mention it and throw me a bone. Get it? Bone? Cemetery? Whatever. I'm not sure what I'll do now. As much as I'd like to put one together, I'm not going to have nearly the amount of help or patience (RJW) that I had last year. The band was also hoping to make our debut there. A friendly aquaintance of mine is going to be throwing a bash. Perhaps she'll let me join in, although I may be asking for trouble like last year. Then again, this particular woman is not nearly as good and close a friend as Nat was to Miss RJ. ;^)>

Any prophecies of doom from the mystic and clairvoyant Miss W?

Well peeps, I'm outta here. I fear I may be running out of amazing and exciting stories, sprinkled with a few anecdotes, to share. I may have to start making shit up. Oh wait. I've been doing that all along. Stay tuned for more occasionally lame updates, as my world and stomach turns.

Today's Happenings......................

I woke up relatively on time, unlike yesterday when I overslept. Being off for a week, my body clock was ticking counter clockwise. I had been staying up later, and sleeping later. I woke up in a panic, which set the tone for the rest of the day. I can't recall ever moving so quickly to get ready so as not to be late for work. Thank God my commute is only one mile door to door. At least Hobson says so. I didn't even get a chance to have my coffee. My coffee! My effin' COFFEE! Can you believe that?!

While home on my lunch break, I was looking out my kitchen window and saw Mr. Shropshire going into the downstairs office. He was obviously there to take care of final business and to arrange for his wife's eventual interment. I went downstairs to say hi and to see how he was doing. I asked if he needed anything. He said; "can you cook"? I said I could take him out for a meal.

I lost my $5,000 sunglasses! Son of a bitch! For crap's sake! I've been losing a few things lately. It started with my ID tag. Now my glasses. What's next?...................................shut up.

I'm getting sick. I began to feel run down yesterday. I suspect my immune system may be on the fritz due in part to last week's emotional roller coaster ride. I was sneezing quite a bit, and contributed it to allergies. Mine always seem to go wonky when the seasons change. As I type this, my throat's feeling slightly sore. My head and eyes ache as well. What do you mean waa-waa, who gives a shit?! Is there anyone who'll take care of me? Preferably a woman. A hot woman in a nurse's uniform. Dream on my friend. Dream on.

I'm gonna go home soon. I'm anticipating a delightful evening with my girlfriend Sony, and her friend's Net and Flix. They're foreign, I think. I will also be preparing a gourmet supper consisting of soup and peanut butter on crackers. Don't hate. I'll share.

Dating, or the lack there of.

I HATE dating! To be more clear, it's not so much the ritual, the song and dance I dislike. It's the containing of imperfections, issues, back issues, and the other scary stuff we tend to hide away until we begin to let our guard down. Hoping that our intended victim will like, and eventually love us despite ourselves. Warts and all!

Anyone whose had the (dis)pleasure of dating me by blunt force trauma is aware that I tend to unleash the bad early on. A classic defence mechanism to test the waters. I figure if I put it out there in the beginning, I can gage their cringe factor and hope to gleen a look at the future. I'd rather catch the fear in their eyes before they flee screaming into the night, sooner rather than later. Sometimes it's hard to tell. I'd like to think I'm being a bit dramatic here. I'm not so bad. I think. For a while. Sometimes?

Ideally I'd like to circumvent all the awkwardness and slide directly into the cozy and comfortable phase. I know. In a perfect world. Well, in MY perfect world! I know I'll eventually have to start again. I'm not getting any younger. I'm Forty effin' Five. Mid life baby! The dating pool has just become a bit more shallow. Not wanting kid's peeing in the pool makes me even less of a candidate for finding someone. The choices are slightly narrowed.

I'd hate to think I'd have to try the cyber eLove thing again. It was OK, but mostly Matchless.com. I prefer to meet someone, or be mutually introduced. Low stress and pressure are my ideal mistresses. I've gone out on a few dates, and while these potential victim's had nice qualities about them. They held no potential for me. The romantic in me used to believe in soul mates. Now I think I believe in making a good choice. I'll admit I've become lonely, and a bit fearful. I suppose I'll leave it somewhat up to fate, and "roofies". We'll see what happens. Tune in later.

I miss my best friend. I miss my companion.

FINALLY!

Today is the first official day of fall, or as I like to formally call it, autumn.

Without a doubt, my favorite time of year. A small, yet vital influence over the title of my now famous (and read by millions) blog. I've ALWAYS loved autumn ever since I was a boy. Unlike most people, I prefer it when the sun sets earlier. My twisted logic being; I can go home, put on my jams, and not suffer one bit of guilt! Come daylight savings time & summer, I feel obligated to be outside which is nice, but well.............an obligation I feel obliged to.

Autumn also brings crisp cool air and the smell of burning leaves, (which is illegal in Jersey) and wood. It brings the promise of hot cider, pumpkins, and turkey. It brings HALLOWEEN! The creme de le creme of holidays. I'm considering having another party this year, Although last year's party ended up to be somewhat of a disaster. Well, for me, Anyone trying to help, but especially for Miss RJW. Although she had to endure some crappy things and cranky behavior, she bravely came through, making the party the success it was. Mostly for the guests, who for the most part, were clueless as to the behind the scenes shenanigans and horror! Almost one year later, THANKS again RJW. You were the glue baby!

If I do have a party this year, it will be on my terms. A bit smaller and hopefully more cost efficient. Not the unwieldy beast it became last year. It got to the point where I felt it wasn't even my party anymore. I felt I had absolutely NO control! That's what I get for including others in the planning and execution. I was trying to save a buck, and get some assistance. I must admit I was clearly warned, over and over, what would happen. Thank you very much Miss W. A prophecy fulfilled!

I found it!

No, not my sanity. My security ID tag I had been searching for ALL week! Where did I find it you ask. I found it in my laundry basket. Still wrapped around the collar of my shirt. Of course it would be found the day before returning to work, after my boss had deactivated it. Of course it would be found in the last place I looked.

Fortunately I did not have to write a report. My boss, at least the guy who thinks he is, was able to reactivate it. I thought he'd have to make a new one. I did however, have endure one of his mindless lectures. Later on he confided in me that he had misplaced his as well. I asked if he would have told me. He emphatically answered NO! That's why he's the boss.

"You Can Close Your Eyes"

Well the sun is surely sinking down
But the moon is slowly rising
So this old world must still be spinning 'round
And I still love you

(Chorus)
So close your eyes
You can close your eyes, it's all right
I don't know no love songs
And I can't sing the blues anymore
But I can sing this song
And you can sing this song
When I'm gone

It won't be long before another day
We gonna have a good time
And no ones gonna take that time away
You can stay as long as you like

-Repeat Chorus-


Lyrics- J.Taylor

Once..........................(Again)

"Falling Slowly"

I don't know you
But I want you
all the more for that
Words fall through me
and always fool me
and I can't react
And games that never amount
to more than they're meant will play themselves out

(chorus)
Take this sinking ship and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
you've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
and I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
and I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
and warred with yourself
it's time that you won

(repeat chorus twice)

Lyrics- Glen Hansard




"If you want me"

Are you really here or am I dreaming
I can't tell dreams from truth
For it's been so long since I have seen you
I can hardly remember your face anymore
When I get really lonely and the distance calls it's only silence
I think of you smiling with pride in your eyes
a lover that sighs

(Chorus)
If you want me Satisfy me
If you want me Satisfy me

Are you really sure that you believe me
when others say I lie
I wonder if you could ever despise me
you know I really try
To be a better one to satisfy you for your everything to me
And I do what you ask me
if you let me be free

(Repeat chorus twice)

Lyrics- Marketa Iglova & Glen Hansard






"ONCE"

Part of me has died and won't return
And part of me wants to hide
the part that's burned

Once Once
knew how to talk to you
Once Once
But not anymore

Hear the sirens call me home
(Repeat three more times)

Part of me has vied to watch it burn
And the heart of me has tried
But look what it's become

Once Once
I knew how to look for you
Once Once
But that was before
Once Once
I would have laid down to die for you
Once Once
But not anymore

Hear the sirens call me home
(Repeat three more times)

Lyrics- Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova

To blog or not to blog.............................

So far, if I've not already mentioned it, I've been enjoying this blogging thing. I've never kept a diary, but have considered doing it for many years. I'm a lazy writer, and tend to write long hand. The old fashioned way! I've never made the jump to utilize existing technologies. I tend to use the computer at work which is difficult because I seem to have lost my security ID card. You see, you need this highly advanced "big brother" device to get through several doors in the building.

I can see the annoyance in the faces of my fellow employees as they have to use their cards so I can gain access. The nerve of me! Several have even asked why I've been spending so much time at work when I'm off. I think they suspect I'm building a bomb. Actually, I'm still waiting to receive my bomb components package from Amazon. I was able to get free shipping so that's a bonus! Regardless, now I have to write and file a report. Now I think I'm in trouble. I'll deal with that on Monday, for crap's sake!

Back to the matter at hand; writing my blog. I really like the fact that my writing is instantaneously posted, as I'm an instant gratification kinda guy. My dilemma is this. How much of my soul do I lay bare? I suppose in all actuality, very few people are reading this. I'm writing mostly for myself, and mostly for those I choose to provide a link. I try to use my discretion wisely. Anyone else from Blogger who stumbles across my blog is most likely a total stranger, (I think) so either way I guess everything I wrote in this particular post truly doesn't matter................or does it?

We'll see. I'm sure I'll figure out something. I hope.