- Panty Raid -

In the one-horse town where I play Johnny Lawman, we've experienced a rash of delicate and intimate thefts this past year and change. Yes folks, I'm talkin' undies, fundies, bloomers, etc.

We have a Victoria's Secret retail store in town that's been repeatedly shoplifted by the mysterious, infamous, and eternally eluding capture, "UN-D-GANG." That's NOT an official moniker, but a clever name I just now came up with.

Now the amount of missing panties absconded with are not 2 or 3, we're talkin' in the hundreds! The most recent score netted approximately 300 to 400 pairs of undergarments. There's a front and back entrance to the store. How do these ever vigilant employees miss the interlopers is beyond me. Security cameras, alarms, machine gun turrets, and mine fields don't seem to stop these heathens. Methinks it may be an inside job.

I don't know. I'm quite fond of the aqua blue ones I'm wearing as I type this. I'd better go finish counting the rest and get 'em up on evilBay! I know Victoria's Secret and I ain't tellin'! ;~)