Dating, or the lack there of.

I HATE dating! To be more clear, it's not so much the ritual, the song and dance I dislike. It's the containing of imperfections, issues, back issues, and the other scary stuff we tend to hide away until we begin to let our guard down. Hoping that our intended victim will like, and eventually love us despite ourselves. Warts and all!

Anyone whose had the (dis)pleasure of dating me by blunt force trauma is aware that I tend to unleash the bad early on. A classic defence mechanism to test the waters. I figure if I put it out there in the beginning, I can gage their cringe factor and hope to gleen a look at the future. I'd rather catch the fear in their eyes before they flee screaming into the night, sooner rather than later. Sometimes it's hard to tell. I'd like to think I'm being a bit dramatic here. I'm not so bad. I think. For a while. Sometimes?

Ideally I'd like to circumvent all the awkwardness and slide directly into the cozy and comfortable phase. I know. In a perfect world. Well, in MY perfect world! I know I'll eventually have to start again. I'm not getting any younger. I'm Forty effin' Five. Mid life baby! The dating pool has just become a bit more shallow. Not wanting kid's peeing in the pool makes me even less of a candidate for finding someone. The choices are slightly narrowed.

I'd hate to think I'd have to try the cyber eLove thing again. It was OK, but mostly Matchless.com. I prefer to meet someone, or be mutually introduced. Low stress and pressure are my ideal mistresses. I've gone out on a few dates, and while these potential victim's had nice qualities about them. They held no potential for me. The romantic in me used to believe in soul mates. Now I think I believe in making a good choice. I'll admit I've become lonely, and a bit fearful. I suppose I'll leave it somewhat up to fate, and "roofies". We'll see what happens. Tune in later.

I miss my best friend. I miss my companion.