My Posts

I was recently made aware that my posts tend to be extraordinarily long in length. Attempting to be more sympathetic to my extremely close knit readership, I vow here and now (& rhyme too!) to be more mindful of this. It's a very important point and I'm grateful to Stefany and the many others who kindly and unsolicited brought this VERY important matter to my attention. I promise to cut to the chase and lean the beef as it were or is. I further vow to be much more concise in my editing of said posts. I will endeavor to use all the editing and writing skills taught to me at Princeton University by one of their finest English professors, Miss Wolters. At one point, when I was on the precipice of failing her class, she of kind heart and resilient soul, took me under her wing. She rose above and beyond the call of duty to help me raise my grades up to a more than satisfactory passing level. She would tutor and mentor me every free moment she could find and ladies and gentleman, she had very little time to spare. She would help me into the wee hours of the morning, instructing me to obtain the greatness which fallowed in my large intestines. She even helped me most every weekend. All weekend! Time and again (what does that mean?) I would offer to compensate her either monetarily or through constant offers to run errands or build the house she wanted. Even Little things like stealing a car or assassinating someone of her choice. She would ALWAYS adamantly refuse! I put her way up there on a pedestal with likes of Gandhi and Mother Theresa. Perhaps even higher than that! Perhaps she could even stand tall with the Giants; Marsha Brady, Elvis, Betty Boop and Believe it or not, Little Orphan Annie. Yes folks, she's that amazing! In fact, I now propose to write a letter to our new president elect demanding that he name a Federal holiday after her that gives the hard working people of this country and a little planetoid I know of, about three blocks from the milky way, south of the Death Star, three weeks off a week with no pay. At the very least they should name a Candy bar after her!

I deeply and sincerely apologize after realizing I got a bit sidetracked. To further continue on, if shortening my posts would cause readership to grow and lower the boredom factor, I will now enact the FLAST INITIATIVE this day of our Lord November twentieth two thousand eight! Let this new proclamation read as follows; BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH , BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH , BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, with some more BLAH added for effect, followed by yet an overstatement of BLAH, with a bit more BLAH thrown in just to drive the message home. The very last thing I'd like to add just to make my self crystal clear is...........BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Not only was that repetitive, it was quite difficult, monotonous, and tiring to type!


I also vow NO NEW TAXES! So there! Eat that on a plate of spaghetti with a side of corn beef hash with eggs and cream cheese. Followed up with a 1% milk chaser. Hell, throw in the whole damn organic cow for craps sake!


THE END