Lost and Not Found

I'm feeling a bit lost these days and I'm not exactly sure why. I suspect it's several things. I tend to get a bit melancholy around the holidays. I'm sure that has a bit to do with the deaths of my parents. Mostly the death of my mom, whom I still miss terribly! A great loss is always very difficult around the holidays. It gets better with time, but I think people tend to feel it more on important days during the year.

I'm sure not having a concrete romance in my life figures somewhat into the equation as well. I think people have a tendency to compare current holidays to the ones previous. I was in a better frame of mind last year. I had surprisingly reconnected with someone very special and that made all the difference at the time.

I have a couple Christmas parties to attend during the next few weeks. One at my best friends bike shop, and the other being held by my landlord and friend via the cemetery board of directors who are kind enough to allow me to be the only living person on the grounds. I'll be attending stag and trying not to dwell on the past as to enjoy myself, and not be a downer to anyone within close proximity of my bad self.

Perhaps a few drinks will motivate my Scrooge and Grinch-like demeanor to brighten. Perhaps not.

Lets see, three drinks equals the visit of three holiday spirits. If that doesn't work perhaps someone has a 10 1/2 foot pole to beat me with! ( clever Grinch cartoon song reference- unless of course my measurements are off). A Festivus Pole could always be used as a substitute.