If you've read my prior post, you've learned of my recent pain and suffering. I will now share with my readers my latest tale of woe. The other morning with a sleepy head, I was descending my somewhat treacherous stairs in order to retrieve the daily newspaper. About halfway down my feet sailed off the steps as my legs flew in an upward motion. Quick as a cat, I reached one arm out to grab the banister. As I did this, I felt the big toe of my right foot bend in the opposite direction.
Fortunately I was able to prevent myself from tumbling down the stairwell to certain death. Of course this all happened very quickly although that slow motion thing kinda kicked in, except it was really fast slow motion. I found I had slipped on a still wet umbrella left by yours truly on the steps the night before. It of course didn't help that I hadn't turned a light on to actually see where it was I was going. BRILLIANT!
I stopped panting like a dog, forcing my mouth to shut. I put my eyes back into their respective sockets, continuing my journey, (much more carefully) downward. My toe suffered some discomfort throughout the day, but I wasn't in agony. The next day while taken a shower, (it had been a few weeks) I noticed a bruise on the top of my big toe. I thought I might have accidentally dropped something on it, or perhaps kicked something but I couldn't recall. I had forgotten about my Jerry Lewis maneuver on the stairs. My toe was still a little sore, but not too painful.
The next day I noticed that the bruise had grown larger, covering most of the top of the toe. It looked a little crooked too. it seemed a bit swollen as well. I did a visual comparison of both toes. It was a little difficult to tell, but I was pretty sure the toe on my right foot was slightly larger and a bit off center than my left toe. I'm pretty sure I busted it and from what I understand there's not much I can do about it. It hurts, but the pain has been tolerable. That is until today when I switched to heels. Now it's really quite painful! Come on now, I'm kidding about the heels.......................really!
I know it seems like I'm completely falling apart, but I'm not dead yet........yet! My recent spat of physical woes has got me down a bit and I'm feeling somewhat pathetic, but it could be worse I guess. At least I've still got all my mental facilities intact.
Wait a minute! Where is this place? What the hell am I doing here and who the hell am I?!
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2 comments:
My brother "accidentaly" hit me with a golf club back when I was about 9 years old. The club hit my middle finger on my left hand. Within minutes, the color changed to a dark purple. Then I couldn't bend it. I proceeded to tell my dad, "Um Dad? I think my finger's broken." He hurried me off home (first) and then to the hospital. My brother (3 years older) was crying the whole time.
Turns out, my idiotic doctor thought it was okay to take the cast off earlier than planned. And now, my finger is slightly (people cringe... it's not too bad) crooked. And I can't bend it all the way.
Good story, though. Maybe I'll post pics... if I'm bored enough
It is a good story. More interesting than mine. At least another party was involved & caused it to happen.
Your story gives new meaning to the term "FORE!"
especially after having 4 good fingers left. The middle finger though? Was that some kind of strange premonition, or some subconscious message from your brother?
Chicks w/mangled fingers happen to rule! Does it aid in nose picking?
Yes, let's see the twisted (get it?) pics!
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