It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like....................................

Sure, it's cold outside (at least where I am) and there are holiday lights twinkling and glowing, children singing, pipers piping, me drumming, etc., but what's wrong? I think I'm not alone in being down this time of year. I think it's a pretty common phenomenon, no matter what you celebrate. They do call it "the silly season" after all!

I realize holidays (for me-specifically Christmas) are what you make them. Since I was a young boy, I've always been a bit disappointed on the holidays, (Charlie Brown anyone?). Don't get me wrong, I do love 'em, (or at least want to) but I think I tend to set my expectations unrealistically high which almost always leads to disappointment. I guess in a way, that makes me my own worst Grinch, although it might not be so bad to be either Snow Miser or Heat Miser!

I went to my friends Christmas part Friday night. He owns a bike (pedal type-not cool Harley's) shop, where he clears out the showroom for the big event, just like old Fezziwig does in A Christmas Carol! He has it catered, blah, blah, blah. I'm not really much of a party person. ESPECIALLY crowded parties with MANY people. I'm the guy who stands in the corner with a lampshade on my head, wondering if someones gonna pull my cord. They'd be very disappointed when my lamp won't light!

Of course when I finally arrived, it was loaded with peeps! I was like a sardine on the subway in NYC! I tried to make merry and become one with the holiday spirit, but it really wasn't happening. I did my best to be social and nicey-nice, but that's no fun. On top of that, there were two eighty year old "cougars" chasing me around. Not a big self esteem booster!

Last year after the party, I got VERY sick and spent most of the long night, knees on tiles, praying into the ceramic receptacle. I tend to have a cast iron gut, but I musta been real sick 'cause I was chuckin' up a storm let me tell ya!

I've been attempting to decorate my crypt in a lame attempt to bolster my holiday doldrums, but the damn bats keep knockin' it all down. The whispering holiday winds don't seem to be blowing my sails either. I have a 6' phony tree up in my attic, but it just seems a hassle with no one special to help decorate it. That, and I'm a lazy SOB! I do have an official "Charlie Brown Christmas tree" that I love so I'll probably just put that up. "That was easy!"

I also have one of those ceramic Christmas trees with the "lite brite" pegs that remind me of my dear departed Grandmother. I'm sure I'll set that one up too. See that, I'm already getting excited..............................................not!

I'm sorry. I really don't mean to be a downer and a bitch meister.........or do I?! There's still (from 12/08/08) eighteen days until Christmas, so anything is possible I guess. Perhaps I'll splurge on some mistletoe and go through my little black book.

Now if I can only find those eight maids-a-milking.......................................