The Undertakers Ball

For those of you unaware, or non-followers of this AMAZING blog, I reside in a gatehouse situated at the entrance of a large cemetery located in central NJ. To some it may seem to be a macabre location. It's actually a very beautiful cemetery as far as cemeteries go. The grounds are well attended, and my backyard is larger than most, unless of course you live on a golf course. The cemetery is also allegedly the highest elevated point in town, with a very nice view of NYC on a clear day when the leaves have fallen from the trees.

Once a year the cemetery board holds a Christmas party. For many years it was held in the office located on the first floor of where I live. It was an OK event held in the board meeting room that seemed a bit small for the amount of people parading through. I'm not at all into crowds so I always seemed to end up celebrating just outside the parameter of the festivities. Three(?) years ago they (the board) decided to amp it up, moving the party up the road to a country club. Hey, I'm in!  It became a bit more upscale and swanky which is nice, although apparently the board can only afford two hours of swankiness. It's all good. Last year they added a pasta station which upped the yum factor.

I went stag for a few years, although my chief began to attend, who in turn brought along one of my captains. Last year I had a date (yes-female!) which was great as a large majority of the guests tend to be male, unless attending with a spouse or such. Being a mortician/funeral director still appears to be a male dominated field, although I have actually met some females who apparently like living (dying) on the edge.

I tried in vain to dig up a date for this event, but was sadly unsuccessful. I guess my personalty's not lively enough (ba-dump-bum-crash!). I tried everything from bribery to begging, coming up just shy of roofies and force. I'd like to think I'm a bit classier than that. Apparently my chief took it upon himself to invite my lieutenant along as my date without consulting me first. It appears they have command of me outside of my job as well. Despite all these fun hindering obstacles I had a fairly good time. It became even more enjoyable after I had finished my Bloody Mary cocktail. Well I guess I did in fact have a date if you take Mary into account. In fact she was so Delicious I drank from her completely!

While trying to enjoy myself, I had a few thankful distractions. A phone call, and the beautiful snow falling gently outside. After the party I was ordered to follow the caravan of my chief, captain, and lieutenant. We ended up a few towns over at a old/new English style pub which wasn't overly crowded, and for that I was grateful. Several old friends of the chief (woman thank God) arrived including an old flame from MANY years back. 

It was fun to reconnect with her again. She's absolutely insane and still as fun and enjoyable as I remember her being. Of course I was the odd man out as everyone else was married. Another co-worker (my boy Hobs!) arrived with a friend of his which was an unexpected surprise. Most everyone eventually became completely hammered except for me. I always did enjoy the drunk show, later to recall and relate their exploits that they couldn't or didn't wish to remember. I did however partake of of a booze infused coffee drink which was tasty. It was getting late (for me anyway ) and we departed. we spoke of getting together again soon, which I predict will most likely not occur.

Let's get outta here, these people are a buncha stiffs! This party's absolutely dead.