Mmmmmmm-Ahhhhhh...

This is pointless self indulgent post about a self-indulgent topic that no one will care about but me, but being this is MY blog (& I'm really bored), I will henceforth type the words that most likely will only be glimpsed by thine own eyes.

-William Shakespeare
(most likely never-ever said this)

I've been receiving massages at my abode for many, many years now. I insist (I sound like a snob, don't I?) on the masseuse coming to my residence- Not because of laziness (well, perhaps a smidgen) mind you, but because I prefer my body raptures in the evening as close to bedtime as possible. Also for the fact that I find it difficult to do anything afterwards as I feel somewhat non-productive, but MORE importantly, I do not wish to revoke my state of relaxation. I'm not exactly sure where that state is located, but if I had to guess, it's just N/W of Alaska.

Through the years I've hired 'em & fired 'em. Mostly because of frequent cancellations on THEIR part (of course). I'm always out for the the best bargain I can find whether it's for myself or someone else. Hey, I'm not cheap, just a bit thrifty. We live in difficult economic times for craps sake, & I like to hoard my millions- I sleep on a very BIG mattress! ;-)

Getting back to the point (Is there one?), my current girl- no, I'm not homophobic (I'd like to think I'm not- I prefer a woman's touch, what can I say?) has been slowly increasing her costs. This measure forced my hand & I began to seek other options, & one day there it was. Anka staring back at me from a full color ad in one of those crappy newspapers that gets dumped on your driveway- that you don't want, but it makes a great door stop after it's been seasoned & weathered a bit.

I called the number & spoke with a woman with a barely detectable European accent- with a name like Anka it makes sense. We spoke briefly on the phone & she said she'd like to speak to my current massage therapist as a reference. DILEMMA!- I'm somewhat friendly (DON'T read into that!) with my current masseuse & we hang out (albeit rarely) once in a while. If Anka called her she'd most likely be offended & I'd NEVER want that. She's sweet, & pretty good at what she does.

Since I work in a somewhat import authoritative capacity (riiiiight) I asked her if she'd be willing to stop by my humble (riiiiight) place of employment to which she agreed. She arrived & we spoke about my needs & what I was looking for in a massage (DON'T read into that EITHER!). It was important that she get a reference (or 2 or 3) from me or at least meet with me as she had been freaked out by that "Craig's list murder" thing- understandable.
We set up an appointment & she left.

She arrived on the appointed date, promptly on time I might add, with her husband in tow. Hmmmm. Was he her body guard? Was he gonna stay & watch this process unfold?- I felt that would be kinda creepy & hinder my relaxation. Basically I think he came along for peace of mind (for both of them), but he left shortly thereafter. Apparently she was having car trouble so she needed a ride.

We got down to brass tacks or the nitty-gritty if you will-or won't, & let me tell you, it was hands down one of the BEST massages (& at a fair price) his Majesty (that would be ME) has ever received! Once completed she was hired on the spot.

I'd like to set the record STRAIGHT- I insist ALL my massages finish up with an unhappy ending- NO funny stuff see?! It's all legit. All I need is to be arrested in some FBI sting! I very much look forward to the next one. :-)

Addendum- Let me please just add as usual this was supposed to be a brief post about finding a new masseuse, indulging & enjoying , & look what happened (again!). If you've read this far you get a shiny gold star & a thank you from yours truly! Who says I never reward my readership.