Blood, Sweat, & Tears (almost)

In an earlier post I mentioned the Ikea Insanity I endured. Several days later, apparently a glutton for punishment, I returned to purchase a desk and file cabinet. Ironically the box that held the contents of the file cabinet was much smaller, yet MUCH heavier than the desk. Go figure. A few days had passed, and I felt slightly motivated and ready to tackle the assembly of the file cabinet.

I opened the box only to have about 4,522,000 parts cascade onto the floor. Oh no, I thought, here we go. I took a deep breath and grabbed the instructions and what I found didn't surprise me in the least. Several pages of diagrams (with no words) that made very little sense, much like me on a stage as a male stripper!

I held my head high and told myself, Self- you can do this by God! So summoning every nerve of steel I possessed, I commenced assembly. First and foremost I made sure every piece of fake Ikea wood was included. Next I counted the 103 pieces of hardware which took about 40 minutes. I was cookin' with gas now baby! Step 1- done. Step 2- go on with yo bad self. Step-3......Step-3! WTF?! Where the hellarky (WV) do these drawer rails go?! The damned instructions made very little sense to my by then feeble mind. I read the instructions sideways, standing on my head, and by candlelight, and I still couldn't figure it out- SOB! My head hurt. I was tired and frustrated. I was done!

After a few days of accidentally slamming my feet and stubbing my toes on the pieces of unbuilt fake wood file cabinet pieces, I decided it was time to try again, but this time I would send out an SOS. I lit a fire on the front lawn and waited. And waited- and waited, until finally the Calvary arrived- or in actuality, my friend Steve.

Last time Steve helped, and this is no slight on him, I received four stitches to my finger. This time would be no different. Coincidence or supernatural occurrence- who knows? After about two hours, a screwdriver into the soft flesh of my left hand between the thumb and pointer finger, as well as a deep slice (from one of the metal drawer rails) opening up the side of the finger to the right of my pinky finger (left hand as well), quite a bit of blood, and several Band-Aids, we were finished.

I haven't even built the desk yet- sheesh!