Friday, March 27, 2009

Matchless Dot Com

I'd like to share a somewhat recent (very) humbling experience I had.

Occasionally I'll peruse (OK, cyber-stalk) some of the better known Internet dating sites to see whats out there, although I'd NEVER admit to actually having ever been a member-EVER! I'd certainly never stoop that low.

While harmlessly perusing out of sheer boredom, I came across a somewhat fetching lass- waaaay out of my price range. She mentioned in her profile that she wasn't a member, but if you were clever enough you could find the clues to an email contact off the site. Using my well honed detective skills, I quickly figured it out & promptly (I didn't say desperately) em'd her. I kinda felt like a (somewhat) older Indiana Jones sans the buffness. I am however truly buff in my head. Does it count that I recently buffed my shoes? How 'bout I buff your car?

Getting back to the topic at hand, I contacted her & she was impressed! We were off to a good start. We exchanged several flirty & clever emails, & It seemed to be going rather well. I was charmin' the pants off 'er- um, figuratively speaking of course! I knew it was comin' so I wasn't surprised when she hit me up for a pic or two. It was the old, you've seen mine, now show me yours type situation.

I mild panic overtook me. A misty sweat left a thin glistening sheen on my forehead. Pic? pic?, do I even have one? Should I find some hot dude on the Internet & send some pics of him to her. I can always charm her later with sympathy tactics of my reconstructive surgery that went terribly awry when the plastic surgeon went into cardiac arrest whilst midway through the delicate surgery! Yea, dats da ticket!

Well, no it's not, is it? As much as it pains me to say, HONESTY is the ticket that should be punched by the conductor. I mean, where can a relationship go that begins with a lie- a lie for craps sake! Sadly I'm not particularly photogenic, & feel I make a MUCH better impression in person when I can blind you with all of my amazing glory!- Can I hear an amen people?!

Long story short- I dug up some (what I thought were) acceptable pics & cautiously sent them off to her & waited & waited & waited & waited & waited......well, you get the point.

Please don't weep for me. I cried enough for all of us, as well as those I don't even know. I know she'll eventually call- I just know it!

4 comments:

tia-juana said...

Amen. ;)

C. Louis Wolfe said...

& an Amen to you too sister!

Wandering Appalachian said...

I am actually helping a friend get her profile written. She's a little nervous about the whole thing, but it seems like a cool way to meet people.

C. Louis Wolfe said...

Hey G- You're a good friend to help out. Seems online or cyber-dating as some call it, is the norm these days. Hopefully it'll work out better for her. :-)