THE TERRIBLY TERRIFYING TORTILLA TALE

13:00 hrs., or 1:00pm- Lunchtime!

I'm sitting in a local Tex-Mex joint in town enjoying a (rarely) quiet lunch with my hyperactive boss. I've just payed for his meal because he left his wallet in his other holster (yeah, riiight).

We're munching on a basket of tortilla chips. You know, the red & yellow kind, bathed in salt, that you can't stop eating, but because of the high salt content you become very thirsty, so you have to order more drinks so the restaurant makes more money off Patsy's like us, when panic struck!

It seems a small piece of a tortilla chip became wedged kinda sideways in my esophagus. It wasn't quite obstructing my airway as I could breath & speak, however I felt a mild panic come over me! Every time I swallowed I felt a very uncomfortable scratching against the inner lining of my throat. I made several attempts to cough to clear my throat, but that didn't work.

I was trying to look cool, calm & collected as I informed my boss of my dire situation. He said I seemed very calm although my leg was goin' a mile a minute! He said to drink lot's of water to loosen the chip piece which I did. Glass after glass after glass. Now not only was I choking, but I had to pee real bad! After what seemed like an hour, it appeared the chip had dislodged itself, or had grown smaller & less irritating because of all the water I drank. I should mention while all this was going on, my boss who was sitting across from me was smiling with glee as he dramatically stuffed chips into his gullet- that SOB!

Obviously I survived the ordeal so I could share it with you now, to gain your deep sympathies. It's about two hours later & every time I swallow my throat hurts, though not too badly. Sometime I'll have to relate my choking on a too large piece of steak when I was all alone working the 12 to 8am shift, but that's a story for another day.

In lieu of flowers please send salsa & water.