The Part of You That Never Dies

Breathe in

breathe out

inhale

exhale

warm blood pumping 

circulates your needs

My only desire is the beating of your heart.

-CLW

Come the Bleak Winter

According to my calendar today is the first "official" day of winter. Who decides that? I'd like to know. The weather outside is frightful, and I'm feeling far from delightful. It's been a combination of snow, sleet, and rain mixing and churning into icy cold mayhem. We're due for some more snow today so the outlook is good for a white Christmas, Hanukkah, what have you. Does it really matter? As long as your happy with yourself, and to a lesser degree, those around you.

The leaves are long gone the naked trees sigh

White powder adorns them a season gone by

The icy wind beckons tho nobody's there

Come the bleak winter without despair 

-CLW

Late Night Early Morning

Yes

No

One pulls me back from the brink

Understandings behind me

Grasping at straws odd man out

Forgiveness subjective

Mercy fleeting

Perhaps

Maybe

Absolutely not

-CLW

Man on Wire

I recently viewed a newly released documentary via Netflix. 

The above titled film is about Frenchman Philippe Petits' successful crossing on a wire strung between the twin towers in 1974. I didn't recall the event as I was a preoccupied precocious eleven year old boy probably more into picking my nose and farting (sorry ladies) than some guy pulling a circus maneuver.

I had heard very good things about this film, but wasn't quite sure what to expect. I was curious to see how it could entertain an audience for one hour and thirty four minutes discussing one event. Well lads and lasses, I'm happy to report as far as the subject matter goes, it's a pretty damned interesting little documentary.

Thanks to Mr. Petits' well documented preparations, along with some recreations that did not take you out of the film, it almost seemed more like a suspenseful caper flick than a documentary about one mans dream and desire finally coming to fruition for one amazing event. Included on the DVD is an entertaining supplement. An animated adaption of a prize winning illustrated children's book about the event narrated by Jake Gyllenhaal.

Giving Up Your Ghost

You drift away so freely, so carelessly
Through windows and doors
Nothing here contains your spirit

Time passes at a standstill
Your tangibility slowly
fading into transparency

Barely able to gaze upon you

as your outline separates

Still you haunt my dreams

Still you haunt my heart

I question life after death

I question life after you

-CLW

The Undertakers Ball

For those of you unaware, or non-followers of this AMAZING blog, I reside in a gatehouse situated at the entrance of a large cemetery located in central NJ. To some it may seem to be a macabre location. It's actually a very beautiful cemetery as far as cemeteries go. The grounds are well attended, and my backyard is larger than most, unless of course you live on a golf course. The cemetery is also allegedly the highest elevated point in town, with a very nice view of NYC on a clear day when the leaves have fallen from the trees.

Once a year the cemetery board holds a Christmas party. For many years it was held in the office located on the first floor of where I live. It was an OK event held in the board meeting room that seemed a bit small for the amount of people parading through. I'm not at all into crowds so I always seemed to end up celebrating just outside the parameter of the festivities. Three(?) years ago they (the board) decided to amp it up, moving the party up the road to a country club. Hey, I'm in!  It became a bit more upscale and swanky which is nice, although apparently the board can only afford two hours of swankiness. It's all good. Last year they added a pasta station which upped the yum factor.

I went stag for a few years, although my chief began to attend, who in turn brought along one of my captains. Last year I had a date (yes-female!) which was great as a large majority of the guests tend to be male, unless attending with a spouse or such. Being a mortician/funeral director still appears to be a male dominated field, although I have actually met some females who apparently like living (dying) on the edge.

I tried in vain to dig up a date for this event, but was sadly unsuccessful. I guess my personalty's not lively enough (ba-dump-bum-crash!). I tried everything from bribery to begging, coming up just shy of roofies and force. I'd like to think I'm a bit classier than that. Apparently my chief took it upon himself to invite my lieutenant along as my date without consulting me first. It appears they have command of me outside of my job as well. Despite all these fun hindering obstacles I had a fairly good time. It became even more enjoyable after I had finished my Bloody Mary cocktail. Well I guess I did in fact have a date if you take Mary into account. In fact she was so Delicious I drank from her completely!

While trying to enjoy myself, I had a few thankful distractions. A phone call, and the beautiful snow falling gently outside. After the party I was ordered to follow the caravan of my chief, captain, and lieutenant. We ended up a few towns over at a old/new English style pub which wasn't overly crowded, and for that I was grateful. Several old friends of the chief (woman thank God) arrived including an old flame from MANY years back. 

It was fun to reconnect with her again. She's absolutely insane and still as fun and enjoyable as I remember her being. Of course I was the odd man out as everyone else was married. Another co-worker (my boy Hobs!) arrived with a friend of his which was an unexpected surprise. Most everyone eventually became completely hammered except for me. I always did enjoy the drunk show, later to recall and relate their exploits that they couldn't or didn't wish to remember. I did however partake of of a booze infused coffee drink which was tasty. It was getting late (for me anyway ) and we departed. we spoke of getting together again soon, which I predict will most likely not occur.

Let's get outta here, these people are a buncha stiffs! This party's absolutely dead.

DATELINE NJ: Global Warming

What's with this weather?!

I have no idea what the weather's been like where you are, but here in New Jersey the end is apparently nigh!

One day it was sixty five degrees, and the next in the mid-thirties. That was followed by a very balmy windy day heralding the coming rain storm. Yesterday it grew cold once more, and the snow began to fall. It was beautiful! It felt like Christmas, helping to lift my spirits as I attended a Christmas party.

Following this strange pattern of weather, today it rained erasing any evidence of the magical holiday snowfall..................................sigh.

Sing along with me.............."Oh the weather outside is frightful-very far from being delightful-It's global warming so we're told-snow and rain, rain and snow, hot and cold."

 

Wintersong (LRJW)

Lake is frozen over
Trees are white with snow
And all around reminders
of you are everywhere I go

It's late and mornings in no hurry
but sleep won't set me free
I lie awake and try to recall
how your body felt beside me

When silence gets too hard to handle
and the night too long

And this is how I see you
In the snow on Christmas morning
Love and happiness surround you
As you throw your arms up to the sky
I keep this moment by and by

Oh how I miss you now my love
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas my love

Sense of joy fills the air
And I daydream as I stare
Up at the star on the tree
And see your star up there

And this is how I see you
In the snow on Christmas morning
Love and happiness surround you
as you throw your arms up to the sky
I keep this moment by and by

-Sarah McLachlan

High Anxiety or Losing My Mind and Other Things

I lose things ALL THE TIME! To be honest, losing things brings about a bit of anxiety in me. Not a complete meltdown mind you, but I tend to get a bit worked up. When I say lost, I'm mostly referring to smaller everyday type items. Yesterday morning it was my sunglasses. I'd recently lost a pair of reasonably (for me) expensive ones. I'm still awaiting their return from the island of misfit spectacles.

It's not so much losing something that wigs me out, it's not knowing where it is that freaks me. Issues I know, turn the page. I feel this intense compulsion to know where most things are at all times. That's why I always leave my keys in the door. I try to keep everything in the same place for my fragile sanity's sake. I guess it's a security thing. 

I told my boss I had to leave work to look for something I lost. He understands despite being a pain in the ass. In fact he, as well as my chief, lose stuff ALL THE TIME! You should see the three of us together. It must be quite humorous to those watching. It's like a meeting of the ADD society. No one listens to anyone. We seem to all talk at each other instead of to each other, and all at the same time. What a train wreak!

I backtracked and did find my glasses at home, just inside the front door where they fell as I was leaving for work. I can't even begin to explain the euphoric relief I feel when I find a lost item. You'd think I'd recovered millions of dollars or an ancient Egyptian artifact! You name it, I've lost it. Whether it be my house, car or luxury yacht. I've thrown away (by accident?) wallets and checkbooks. In fact just yesterday I had left my cell phone on a shelf at Barnes & Nobles while perusing periodicals. While in another section of the store a light bulb went off, and I went into panic mode. Fortunately it was still on the shelf where I had left it. I have some guardian angel(s) let me tell you. He, she, or they definitely have a sense of humor I do not find funny in the least!

In late October I stopped by the grocery store on my way to work. As I was driving to work, I had a mind's eye snap shot of my wallet/Badge/ID on the roof of my car. I pulled over looking on the roof and all around my car, but didn't see it. In a blind panic, I drove back about a half mile to the (very busy) grocery store to try to locate my wallet. Losing this particular wallet causes all kinds of problems. Officers reports, nationwide teletypes, minor stuff like that. I lost a previous one many years ago so I'm all to well aware of the drill! 

While on the topic of losing important pieces of law enforcement equipment, I lost at least two hats back in the day. Same routine. Most people are probably unaware that the hat badge is a very important thing, equal to the wallet badge. One hat was never found, and I'm sure resides in some thugs memorabilia collection. I occasionally check eBay to see if it's listed. The other hat was finally found albeit pancake flat! Both hats were lost by leaving them on the roof of the car as well.

Getting back to the grocery store incident, I frantically crawled around the parking lot like a crazed fool, but couldn't find it. I was counting off the purchases in my head that some thief was making with my credit cards. I went inside the store and left my personal info. in hopes that some righteous individual might do the righteous thing and turn in my wallet, giving me a glimmer of hope in humanity. I got back in my car and drove slowly up and down the (very busy) avenue on the shoulder hoping to spot it. 

For shits and giggles I pulled over to the same spot where I had first realized I had left it on the roof, checked the roof again, lo and behold (Shakespeare?) there it was barely hanging on to the luggage rack. As sad as it sounds, I was almost brought to tears. I felt an un-manly sob comin' on so I grit my teeth, furrowed my brow, and persevered until I got to work where I dramatically wove the tragic , but ultimately happy tale to the boss.

One last quick mindless tale (there are many) was when I thought I had lost my glasses. I called up to my bosses' office to see if I'd left them there, but he said he didn't see them. It was whilst walking up to check for myself, I realized They had been perched on my nose the whole time! What a buffoon!

Now where did I leave my mind? Last thing I remember it was barely in my head!

A Quiet Mind

Softly shouting voices chastising me within
A gentle war is raging the one I'll never win
Silent is the screaming just behind the eyes
desperate to decipher the truth within the lies
Over thinking under planning feed my restless night
Seeking any solace to release me from this plight
Constant plots and scheming none can be resolved
Machines that work the riddles never to be solved
Endless quests and searching yet never will I find
Perfect grace and peaceful comfort of a quiet mind.

-CLW

The Apple of My Eye

I FINALLY did it!!

I put down my club, left my cave, and bought my FIRST (yes- you read that right!) computer. Not just any computer mind you, but the infamous iMac! I've thought about braking down and buying one for years, but to be honest, I've been quite content with my MSNTV system. If you're not aware of it, it's basically a low tech to no tech browser.

If your still curious about this amazing gadget you've most likely never heard of, Google it, than be ready to be duly unimpressed. I have to say however, that it's got me through some tough times. Occasionally being both my girlfriend and best friend! Ewww, that sounded kinda gross didn't it?!

My boss has been brow beating me for several years to buy one. I finally do, and he's furious I purchased a Mac. I want to get into making my own little movies, and from the various creative people whose brains I've picked dry, it seemed the best way to go.

To be (occasionally) honest, I feel a little guilty buying this during our current economic turn down, but I say WTF! It's MY life dag nab it! It's Christmas and Kwanzaa and stuff! I don't own a house, I'm a spinster, and have no little dependants as far as I'm aware and I'd like to keep it that way. At least now I'll be able to work on my God forsaken blog from home as opposed to staying late at work (like now!) or coming in when I'm off.

From me
To me
love always,
me!

Picture This

I love Children's picture books! You'll find me at a book store spending more time in the children's section than any other part of the store. Although I enjoy reading, I tend to stick with short stories or the like. Even better are graphic novels which tend to be the perfect meshing of art and words. I'm not known for having a long term attention span, as my train of thought oft times derails. I know, clever!



I tend to favor the children's (not kids) books that are a bit on the edgy and quirky side. My initial interest is in the actual artwork. If I don't dig that, I'll most likely put it back without even bothering to read it. If however the art rocks, then I hope the writing follows suit.

I recently received a package (LOVE to get packages delivered!) from "Amazon" full of hard cover picture books. I don't like soft covers. Hard cover books look so much better on a shelf.

My fav out of the gate was "Pete & Pickles", written and illustrated by Berkeley Breathed. If your not familiar with him, he is the creator of the former newspaper strips, "Bloom County" and "Opus" which sadly recently ended. It's about a widower pig who lives alone and is very set in his ways. An elephant named Pickles escapes from the circus and into his life, turning it on it's ear. This book, much like "Mars Needs Moms" brought tears to my eyes. Mr. Breathed clearly understands the human condition, and although a book for kids, it's just as easily a book to be enjoyed by adults as well. His simple stories tend to seemingly come out of nowhere to bite you on the ass, but in a good way.

Next is "Bone Soup" and "Skelly the Skeleton Girl". Two non-scary Halloweeny-monstery books. In other words, the type I adore! Kinda Tim Burtony stuff. I also very much dig books from creator Gris Grimly whose books are in the same vein- get it.............vein?! I made me a funny!

Another is the "Flim-Flam Fairies". This is a very gross and immature book. The kind of book little boys (& me) enjoy, although there may be some icky girls who will like it too. It's about some male fairies who are attempting to usurp the tooth fairie. I can't recall their exact names but they're something to the effect of the- Fart/gas fairie, booger fairie, ear wax fairie, well, you get the idea. Perfect art. Perfect execution of all things disgusting! Right up my alley.

"Dream Machines" is a cool book about a boy who won't go to sleep and all the machines/contraptions that will take him there. It's kind of a fantasy type book, with gorgeous illustrations. The machines are very creative. This clever book also becomes a game board when you unfold the dust jacket. Very cool! I love interactive books.

The last of the bunch is "The Castaway Pirates: A Pop-Up Tale of Bad Luck, Sharp Teeth, and Stinky Feet. As far as pop-up books go, this one is flawlessly designed and engineered. The pop-up illustrations are amazing with art on both sides of the 3-D images. The story itself is also very entertaining.

If you like illustrated kids books you'd be hard pressed not to like at least of few of the titles mentioned. Will someone please tuck me in and read to me?

The Darkest Day!

Today is the release date of The Dark Knight on DVD and Blue Ray. I LOVE ALL THINGS BATMAN! He's a very iconic character that I latched onto in childhood, initially for his cool visual style. I like his tragic origin that leads to his motivation. He has no super powers and it's conceivable that someone can actually be Batman, albeit someone whose nuts, filthy rich, and in damn good shape. Writing about this character as though he exists, I think I've got the nut part down!

Although he's evolved as well as devolved since his creation by Bob Kane and Bill Finger, I've enjoyed almost every incarnation of the character including that silly 60's TV show.

There have been seven films produced thus far, not including the early serials released sometime in the 40's. Batman: The Movie (based on the TV show), Burton's Batman and Returns, Batman Forever and Batman and Robin, the latter in my bat-opinion being the absolute WORST of the bunch! It was flamboyant sassy Joel Shulmakers' take/homage on the TV show which alienated fans and for all intents and purposes, buried the series.

I thought Clooney was initially a brilliant casting decision to play Bruce Wayne/Batman (Batman and Robin) with his dark brooding classy good looks, but due to the director and writers failures, he came across quite lame. I still believe he would have been very good had the production had a better team of filmmakers heading it up.

Several years ago a little known director (Christopher Nolan) took over, bringing a "realism" to the character as if he actually existed in the "real world". His first film out of the gate being "Batman Begins". Lame title, much like Batman Forever. Being the Batman critic that I am, I certainly enjoyed it but felt he came up just short of absolutely nailing it. Not to mention, I felt it ran a bit longer than necessary.

Next came "The Dark Knight", released in July 2008. A much better film in my opinion, although once again a bit too long, crammed with a bit too much! It featured an amazing performance by Heath Ledger as the joker. Sadly, dying just as his talent and fame were beginning to peak. Nolan got closer to an almost perfect Batman film. Although he hasn't as of yet committed to a third, I pretty much think it's a given if they continue to allow him control of the pic, while throwing bundles of money at him. We'll see. They say third times the charm.


Me thinks I'll be purchasing both the two disc standard DVD version as well as the two disc Blue Ray release, although as of yet, I have not purchased a B/R player. I'm quite overwhelmed with all the retailer exclusives to entice you to buy the film at their store. They have lot's of cool swag for the taking. Statues, comics, posters, etc. I have some big bat decisions to make.

Quick, to the Batpoles, then to the Batbank, to spend lot's of Batbucks on the Batfilm!

Come On 'N Zoom-Zoom-Zooma-Zoom!

I just received a two disc DVD set titled; "Zoom- Back to the 70's". Zoom was a TV show produced in the early seventies out of Boston Massachusetts, OH-2-1-3-4! It was televised on Public Broadcasting. If I recall correctly, it first appeared on TV in 1972, and ran for about five seasons. Each season starred new cast members.

As a young lad of................................well, as a young lad, this was one of my all time favorite shows on the idiot box or boob tube as it was known back in the day. That would be a TV set for all you youths tuning in to FLAST. I watched this show religiously! Basically, it was a group of kids who hosted the show. They sang songs, played games, profiled young viewers, etc. The cool thing was, most of the stuff on the show that they did was sent in by viewers.

I wanted to be on this show so badly, that I even sent a letter to the producers inquiring as to how one would become a "cast" member. I wanted to be a star! They actually sent a reply which basically stated; we'd love for you to audition, unfortunately you kinda have to live in the Boston area. I was naive. I was devastated!

Watching the show again after all these years brought a big ol' nostalgic smile to my grumpy old puss. Sure it was dated and corny, but as soon as I started watching, all my Zoom memories came flooding back! I may have forgotten the names, but I remembered the songs and faces, and for a little while, (at least 'till the DVDs were finished) I was that happy little boy watching his happy little show, when life was a bit more simple and happy. "Google it" and you'll understand the sunshine kids!

They say you can't go back. I say screw 'em! I did it for almost two hours pal!

To Blog Another Blog?

I'm considering adding an additional (that's quite a bit of adding) blog to my blogging repertoire. This one keeps me busy enough, but I think I might like to blog specifically about the movies I rent and view through my old pal Netflix. It's tentatively called "My Netflix Nights". We'll see. I'm probably biting off more than I can blog.

That's all I need. More typing! As if my paws weren't calloused (spell check allowed that-I think it's spelled wrong) enough already! Hey..........I didn't mean it that way.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like....................................

Sure, it's cold outside (at least where I am) and there are holiday lights twinkling and glowing, children singing, pipers piping, me drumming, etc., but what's wrong? I think I'm not alone in being down this time of year. I think it's a pretty common phenomenon, no matter what you celebrate. They do call it "the silly season" after all!

I realize holidays (for me-specifically Christmas) are what you make them. Since I was a young boy, I've always been a bit disappointed on the holidays, (Charlie Brown anyone?). Don't get me wrong, I do love 'em, (or at least want to) but I think I tend to set my expectations unrealistically high which almost always leads to disappointment. I guess in a way, that makes me my own worst Grinch, although it might not be so bad to be either Snow Miser or Heat Miser!

I went to my friends Christmas part Friday night. He owns a bike (pedal type-not cool Harley's) shop, where he clears out the showroom for the big event, just like old Fezziwig does in A Christmas Carol! He has it catered, blah, blah, blah. I'm not really much of a party person. ESPECIALLY crowded parties with MANY people. I'm the guy who stands in the corner with a lampshade on my head, wondering if someones gonna pull my cord. They'd be very disappointed when my lamp won't light!

Of course when I finally arrived, it was loaded with peeps! I was like a sardine on the subway in NYC! I tried to make merry and become one with the holiday spirit, but it really wasn't happening. I did my best to be social and nicey-nice, but that's no fun. On top of that, there were two eighty year old "cougars" chasing me around. Not a big self esteem booster!

Last year after the party, I got VERY sick and spent most of the long night, knees on tiles, praying into the ceramic receptacle. I tend to have a cast iron gut, but I musta been real sick 'cause I was chuckin' up a storm let me tell ya!

I've been attempting to decorate my crypt in a lame attempt to bolster my holiday doldrums, but the damn bats keep knockin' it all down. The whispering holiday winds don't seem to be blowing my sails either. I have a 6' phony tree up in my attic, but it just seems a hassle with no one special to help decorate it. That, and I'm a lazy SOB! I do have an official "Charlie Brown Christmas tree" that I love so I'll probably just put that up. "That was easy!"

I also have one of those ceramic Christmas trees with the "lite brite" pegs that remind me of my dear departed Grandmother. I'm sure I'll set that one up too. See that, I'm already getting excited..............................................not!

I'm sorry. I really don't mean to be a downer and a bitch meister.........or do I?! There's still (from 12/08/08) eighteen days until Christmas, so anything is possible I guess. Perhaps I'll splurge on some mistletoe and go through my little black book.

Now if I can only find those eight maids-a-milking.......................................

Holy Crap on a Stick!

I actually have three (loyal?) followers to my Cult of FLAST! You guys must be board. It took lots of money, blackmailing, and psychotropics, but it worked! I'm honored. I hope they'll stay with me until I run this thing into the ground, or at least until the world implodes. Whichever comes first. Place yer bets!

So my thanks go to three lovely ladies whom I've never met, nor have had relations with of ANY kind. I swear on a stack of bibles (& a few periodicals) your honor! Stefany (you'll ALWAYS be my first), Little Isis (shotgun) and the newest blogette, Cate. I'm sure you'll bill me. Do you happen to accept a Sears charge card?

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

I saw the above titled "romantic comedy" film a few weeks ago, and had meant to write up a brief review. I'm WAY behind in my Net Flix reviews. Almost overwhelmingly so.

It stars Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars?), Jason Segel (Freaks & Geeks-How I met your mother), Mila Kunus (That 70's Show-Family guy), and Paul Rudd (40 Year Old Virgin). It also stars a young British comic whose name escapes me, but he's pretty funny.

The film is produced by Judd Apatow (Freaks & Geeks-40 YOV) and many of it's cast members are the usual suspects in each others productions which I've never been a huge fan of as the subject matter is usually a bit difficult for me to relate to. Most of their films deal with sex, drugs, and alcohol, with the occasional brief moments of humor. OK, I'll admit I can relate to the sex part (briefly), but that's usually only when preceded by the alcohol part. The characters are mostly teens of which I'm loooooooooooong past the point of no return!

I don't mind romantic comedies at all, (yes- a guy wrote that!) if they're done well, which in my opinion very rarely occurs. Have they ever made a "romantic comedy" that caters to men? I think my all time favorite would be "When Harry Met Sally". Sure it's a bit dated, but I believe it holds up quite well.

Getting back to forgetting Sarah Marshall, is it a great film? No. Is it a (for the most part) funny and charming movie with lot's of heart, and a few moments that should have been edited out? Emphatically yes! I don't wish to give away much of the (simple) plot except to say it's about a guy whose TV star girlfriend dumps him for a famous rock star. The poor guy goes on a vacation (to Hawaii) to get his mind off his predicament, where he runs into his ex and her new beau.

Perhaps the film hit home because of the frame of mind I was in at the time of viewing. I found myself liking/hating the film at the same time. All I'll say is I didn't fly to Costa Rica. If I'm not mistaken, the film was mostly written by Segel. Towards the end of the film there's a (great!) Dracula puppet rock opera (don't make me explain-just watch it) that apparently Mr. Segel had always wanted to actually produce and because of the film was able to include it. The puppets used were produced by the Jim Henson Company of Sesame Street and Muppet Show fame.

The few people I've recommended this to, (mostly guys) have enjoyed it. It's worth a look. I give it three and a half burnt popcorn kernels out of five, and that's without the fake butter oil!

Did I mention the film also stars Mila Kunus?! Hubba-Hubba!

The Final Edit

In an earlier post I mentioned having conceived of a video to help out a co-worker. Today the cinematographer along with the TV 36 anchorwoman stopped by work to show us the (almost) finished product. I must say I was very impressed with the quality and editing despite the fact that it was basically conceptualized and filmed in one day. I'm not sure how long the editing took.

I spoke with the cinematographer as I need some advice as to what type of camcorder I should purchase, as well as the best editing software for the iMac I hope to be purchasing soon. As far as the camcorder is concerned I think I'm leaning towards a mini-DV, which is a small cassette tape that can be transferred over to digital to manipulate in the editing program.

The guy gave me his contact information so hopefully he'll help me out. I'd like to start shooting some short films I've conceived over the past several years. No Stef- it's not porn. It's art!

Fresh Baked Cup Cakes

While out dining with a friend for lunch, I spied a familiar, but not recently seen face. She (and her body) was walking down the sidewalk across the street from where we were eating. I suddenly and rudely left the table to try to get her attention. I was having lunch with a guy for crap sake. Any guy would have done the same thing.

I got her attention by screaming and dropping my pants which in hindsight was probably not one of my better ideas, especially since I was downtown. Despite observing this disturbing spectacle, she smiled and crossed the street. She sat with us for a few minutes before my friend had to leave to return to his job. She ended up walking me back to work. It gave us some time to catch up on each others lives. It was very nice to see her again. Hopefully we'll make more of an effort to stay in touch and not let so much time go by between visits.

The title of this blog is a reference to her vocation, as well as a pet name I occasionally refer to her in the third person......................................or is that the fifth?

Lost and Not Found

I'm feeling a bit lost these days and I'm not exactly sure why. I suspect it's several things. I tend to get a bit melancholy around the holidays. I'm sure that has a bit to do with the deaths of my parents. Mostly the death of my mom, whom I still miss terribly! A great loss is always very difficult around the holidays. It gets better with time, but I think people tend to feel it more on important days during the year.

I'm sure not having a concrete romance in my life figures somewhat into the equation as well. I think people have a tendency to compare current holidays to the ones previous. I was in a better frame of mind last year. I had surprisingly reconnected with someone very special and that made all the difference at the time.

I have a couple Christmas parties to attend during the next few weeks. One at my best friends bike shop, and the other being held by my landlord and friend via the cemetery board of directors who are kind enough to allow me to be the only living person on the grounds. I'll be attending stag and trying not to dwell on the past as to enjoy myself, and not be a downer to anyone within close proximity of my bad self.

Perhaps a few drinks will motivate my Scrooge and Grinch-like demeanor to brighten. Perhaps not.

Lets see, three drinks equals the visit of three holiday spirits. If that doesn't work perhaps someone has a 10 1/2 foot pole to beat me with! ( clever Grinch cartoon song reference- unless of course my measurements are off). A Festivus Pole could always be used as a substitute.

About Last Night............................

Looks like I survived yet another family event. I'm two for two! After having not seen my siblings in nearly four or so years, I've seen them twice, four times if your counting a wake and funeral, in the past several months.

Last nights shindig was the celebration of my older brothers BIG 5-0! It was held outside of Morristown in a VERY swanky joint. It's called the Park Avenue Club, and it sits on a hill, as though better than all the other structures surrounding it. In fact it's almost as though it's raising it's roof in the air as if to say my shingles are better than yours!

The usual suspects were present; my evil twin, my older sister, and of course the birthday boy. Also on hand were their spouses along with my five nephews that I had not seen in many years. My sisters son said he didn't even know who I was. Yikes! I know I'm a bad uncle, but apparently they don't mind as long as I send them their birthday and Christmas cash.

The birthday boys' wife's family was also in attendance, although I don't know them very well. The first thing I did was make a bee-line for the bar. The particular room we occupied was quite large with a fireplace and it's very own bar. Did I mention there was a bar?! I had the nice young chap tending bar make me up a Bloody Mary. This happens to be my drink of choice when I'm actually drinking which I very rarely do.

It takes great skill to concoct this velvety red libation. Rarely is it made well, tasting more like a cheap shrimp cocktail- you know, the one with the microscopic shrimp. I think they're called Sau-Sea if I'm not mistaken. They do, or did sell them at most grocery stores when I was a youngin'. I loved 'em and good 'ol mom always had some on hand.

Basically what you were paying for was a small glass with cocktail sauce inside. It was sealed with a metal cap and I think most everyone rinsed them out when finished to use for many years as a heirloom juice glass. I think we still have my grandmothers set which must be at least ninety years old or more! But I digress.

My older bothers Secretary had made up several posters for the occasion. they were collages with various stolen photographs liberated from Google images no doubt. It was pretty funny to see my brothers head on various famous and not so famous bodies. It was good for a chuckle or four.

Things seemed to be going relatively smooth until I got pulled aside by my evil Twins wife. Apparently they had made up a name placard displaying a name not matching my dates. Oops. Can you say awkward. The table card displaying the name of RJW was quickly disposed of. As much as I would have loved her to be in attendance, alas she was not.

I'm not sure if my date noticed she was the only one without a name card on the table. If she did, she was very diplomatic and did not mention it. The food was for the most part very good. The menu provided was the fix type that gave you a choice of one of three appetizers, main courses, and desserts. Bottles of wine flowed quite freely. I did not partake as I tend to enjoy watching the drunk show, only to remind those in attendance of their comedic behavior when they return to soberdom.

I chose pasta with some kinda olive/eggplant (yuck) mixture for my appetizer. For the main course I chose the strip steak (medium well) which included mashed potatoes (LOVE 'em!) and a small assortment of minuscule mixed vegetables barely detectable to the naked eye. Dessert however ROCKED! We had a choice between chocolate molten cake or a Cinnamon apple tart which was actually like a small pie crumb cake kinda thing. I love almost anything Cinnamon so of course I chose the apple tart. I tried a bit of the molten cake, and while it was good, mine was better!

After a few speeches, (not from me) and some small talk mixed with some kid quarrels the night was over. All in all it went fine. I'm glad I had that drink to start off with. Booze makes almost anyone tolerable! I think my date had a nice time although she said she never wanted to see me again. I think she was kidding, wasn't she?!

Bartender, give me a Bloody Mary on the rocks! In fact, make it a triple! I'm visiting with my family. Oh, and forget the celery and don't scrimp on the olives my good man.

Gobble-Gobble Said the Headless Turkey!

I hope you are enjoying or enjoyed your hopefully thankful and not thankless Thanksgiving. Today in Jersey is perfect (at least to me) Thanksgiving weather. Cloudy and cold. I'm not sure why I feel that way. It just seems right and always has.

Yes, like a buffoon I'm at work typing up this holiday post as it's the only place I can really accomplish this without distractions (from who?!). Besides, I don't live far away at all. Don't feel bad for me. Being alone on Thanksgiving is a choice for me. I received many kind invitations, but it's a nice day to relax while the wife and my seven brats visit the "out-laws" in Topeka.

Hey, I'm happy and Thankful. Isn't that what today is all about anyway? Who needs that pesky family nonsense. I got to sleep in a bit, had a fine cup o' mud, read not one but two news papers and watched the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! I love that parade and try to watch it every year as a tradition. I'd love to see it in person, but I don't like crowds!

I was quite comfy watching it on my hi-def 60" Sony LCD, thank you very much! I was very warm in my jams laying on my couch. It's actually Macy's' one hundred and fiftieth year anniversary too. I hope they can celebrate despite the economy amid consumers growing concerns. I fear tomorrow will truly be a "black Friday".

There was a very interesting news article in today's Star-Ledger that indicates the current economic climate might actually have some benefits. It may make people appreciate what they have, more than what they don't have. It could instill values in our country's youth, that these days, tend to take much for granted and still believe "money grows on trees". There's the possibility that it could bring a return to simple joys, and even make us more aware of what the upcoming holidays are all about, as well as their true and important significance.

A few people who lived through the depression stated as bad as times seem to be getting, it was much worse back then. We'll see what happens. I believe there's good in almost everything. You just have to be brave, open, and willing enough to see it.

I'm sure we can all find at least one thing to be thankful for. If you have the basics; food, clothing, and shelter, you actually have more than many people in the world. If you have health, you have wealth. If you have love (family & friends) you have everything!


I wrote that, but I'm sure some other famous person may have written or mentioned it at one time or another.


Before I leave you and return to my humble abode, I'd like to share a Estonian (don't ask) proverb I read today, and I quote; "Who does not thank for little will not thank for much."




Happy Thanksgiving To You and Yours!

I think Charlie Brown and the rest of the Peanuts gang had the right idea.

Bird is the Word

So, what do you eat for Thanksgiving? Growing up the food prepared and eaten by my clan for the holiday was your usual traditional turkey meal. As time went by and we grew older, my evil twin took over the cooking, (he's a bit controlling) barricading himself in the kitchen.

While growing up I preferred to keep the holidays, especially the food, traditional. Tradition and regularity tend to be comforting, especially around holidays where the family stuff can get a little, shall we say, hysterical and crazed. Over time my evil twin began to veer off from the usual holiday dishes. This didn't sit too well with me, but I didn't have much of a say in the matter. It's Thanksgiving for craps sake! I want turkey with stuffing and cranberry sauce. I want mashed potatoes and gravy. I want green beans. I want pumpkin and apple pie. I want, I want, I want, and I want it NOW!

Then things got a little bit weird. I'll attempt to explain. My mother was a single parent attempting to raise four kids on her own, and money occasionally got a bit lean. The holidays were important to her and she didn't want us to go without. We couldn't really afford a nice turkey and heels had been dragged so on this particular Thanksgiving it had become too late to even find one. This was also during my twin brothers "vegetarian phase".

No one, and I mean NO ONE was allowed anywhere in the vicinity of the kitchen. There was an air of mystery in the house as pots and pans banged and strange, unusual and wondrous pungent smells wafted and lingered heavily in the area of the top secret production. As the noises ceased, the kitchen Nazi emerged from his culinary lair to declare Thanksgiving diner was finally prepared and ready to be served.

We all sat down slowly, cautiously anticipating the coming Thanksgiving grub. Isn't that a type of insect? Anyway, a tray containing God only knows what was slowly lowered to the dining table by a winch borrowed from kindly neighbors. There was a sudden hush over the table as eyes went wide. "What in holy buckets is that?", I thought but dared not speak it.

It was shaped kinda like a turkey, but the coloring was a bit off. I took a whiff of the steam rising from the thing, but was unable to identify the smell. It's odor was not particularly bad, nor particularly good. It even had feathers stuck in it, but they looked like leaves that had fallen from a tree. They had been ceremoniously applied to the turkey using extreme creative license.

My evil twin stood there beaming as we all sat motionless, no one brave enough to make the first move. Seemingly frustrated, my ET "carved" the "turkey" which seemed to melt away from the knife as opposed to being sliced. I was served first of course which only heightened my suspicions. I was convinced without a shred of doubt that my ET had been scheming for years to poison me & it appeared my time was at hand. The plates of steaming mystery sat in front of us for what seemed like hours. My ET's eyes psychotically darted back and forth as he waited for his first victim to taste his Frankensteins monster.

My mother, God rest her soul, always the diplomat, bravely took a bite succumbing to its inedible agony. She smiled through chattering teeth, seizing tongue and green pallor. We waited as one our guests prepared to call the undertaker. Wonder of wonders, the coloring of her face returned to normal, albeit still a bit pale. She had survived. My poor mother, my ET's Guinna pig was still breathing. After giving us all the stink eye, my mother without uttering a single syllable, made it clear we'd all better begin eating as well.

To this day I'll never know what I ate. Later in life, x rays would show that not all of the substance had been digested. The doctor told me to suck it up and live with it, much like some folks who take a bullet have to live with a little lead. Rumor has it a majority of the "turkey" was made of scrapple, corned beef hash, and assorted parts of undisclosed animals that cause me to tremble and sweat just thinking about it. If you really wanna know what I suspect, I'd have to say a good percentage of the "turkey" was prepared using a generic brand of cat food.

Never mind the damn turkey! Just get me a beer and a burger!

Merry Hanukkah!

According to Lukas I. Alpert, (in today's NY Post) the Bushes are starting the holidays off on a high note. The Bushes sent out a holiday invitation to leaders of the Jewish community for a Hanukkah reception at the White House next month.

The invitation read; "The President and Mrs. Bush request the pleasure of your company at a Hanukkah Reception to be held at The White House on Monday, December 15, 2008 at six o' clock- East entrance".

The image depicts a Christmas scene of a Clydesdale horse pulling a carriage up to The White House hauling a Christmas tree. A banner on the carriage proclaims, "White House Christmas Tree 2008". The White House is adorned in Christmas splendor with wreaths hanging in the windows, etc.

One Jewish leader used the words, "bizarre" and "weird". Another Jewish leader gave a hilarious explanation to the effect of, It's obvious the illustration shows the Christmas tree is being removed from The White House to be replaced by a Menorah. Priceless! Humor as only a Jew can convey. Take it from me, I'm one half non-thoroughbred Jew on my fathers side!

Ah President Bush. One more interesting way to end your presidency. At least he's got an unintentional sense of humor. Shalom!

It Truly Is a "Wonderful Life"

Every time a cash register rings an angel gets it's wings, sorta.

I'm certainly no angel and my wings were clipped long ago, however today when the cash register rang I won twenty bucks!

I was picking up coffee with my boss this AM when I spied a new scratch off lottery game. Occasionally I play the regular lottery (Pick 6- Mega Millions) and every once in a while a scratch off. The new game is called, "It's a Wonderful Life".....for life! The grand prize is $2,000 a week for life which would be, well, wonderful. The game costs $5.00 and there are four chances to win. Back at work, I feverishly scratched at the boxes like a rabid cat.

Game #1- LOSER, game #2- LOSER, Game #3- LOSE.......wait a minute! "Match three like prizes, win that amount!" Three twenties?! I WON! I WON! I WON! (game #4- also a LOSER- don't wish to be greedy). OK, so I'm not rich, but it's still pretty cool. I'm up fifteen bucks- not too shabby.





"It's a Wonderful Life" is in my top five favorite movies. Yes. I'm proud to say I'm a corny romantic, so pop me in a microwave! I don't consider myself a particularly lucky guy in the realm of winning, however I did win $420.00 earlier in the year. That's four hundred and forty bucks! Well, minus twenty I gave to the clerk to buy himself one cup of coffee at Starbucks.

I'll have to go meet Mary Hatch at Gower's Drug Store to buy her some ice cream. Hopefully Violet Bick won't show up. Last time it was quite a cat fight!

The Crazy Show

One man showed up at a federal building in Manhattan, asking for release from the reality show he was sure was being made about his life. Another was convinced his every move was secretly being filmed for a TV contest. A third believed that everything- the news, his psychiatrists, the drugs they prescribed- was part of a phony, stage set world with him as the involuntary star, like the 1998 film "The Truman Show."

Researchers have begun documenting what they dub "Truman Syndrome," a delusion afflicting people who are convinced that their lives are secretly playing out on a reality TV show. Scientists say the disorder underscores the influence pop culture can have on mental conditions.

The question is: Is this just a new twist on an old paranoid or grandiose delusion? Dr. Joel Gold a psychiatrist is currently collaborating with his psychologist brother on a scholarly paper on the subject.


This article by Jennifer Peltz (edited by me) was published in today's NY Post.




The article makes sense although this doesn't seem to be a major breakthrough in the life and times of crazies. Today with reality shows so prevalent and commonly accepted I'm not at all surprised. In fact I'm quite sure the line, as far as most media is concerned, has been blurred to the point where some people can't even tell the difference anymore between what's "real"and whats reality.

I think many people believe a great majority of what they see on TV- read in the paper or online. What some forget, at least as far as the Internet is concerned, is that the data being entered is being entered by HUMANS! Many of these people I believe are well intentioned, however they may not have all or any of the complete facts. Add to that- human error, fallacies, etc. which only add to the problem.

As a child, long before I had even seen "The Truman Show", I often imagined a big hidden camera in the sky filming me, as though my life was one big drama which it was and still is. Even now I occasionally find myself thinking that people, whether they be walking by, or in the cars passing by, are aware I may be on to them. Does that make me crazy, unstable, or mentally ill in some capacity? Well then, so be it. Lock my loony ass up! Actually I think it just makes me narcissistic and selfish.

Can we do another take please? I wasn't feeling that one. I'm ready for my close up now.

Various and Sundry

Had a nice relaxing partial weekend down the shore. I almost ALWAYS have a good time with my best friend Jay. Very few people make me laugh the way he does, and that's very important to me. I'm usually the one making people laugh. I don't mind make people laugh, in fact I quite enjoy it, but It's nice to be on the receiving end every once in a awhile. It's good therapy for me to laugh so hard tears shoot out my eyes like Kamikaze bullets! We're very very much alike in some respects. Kinda like a brother to me. A brother that I actually like. No disrespect to my actual two brotherly siblings.

In the off season Long Beach Island, more specifically Beach Heaven, tends to be cold, bleak, and deserted. Just the way I like it. One of my favorite Thanksgivings was spent at Jays shore house with his mom and a small group of people. After dinner, Jay and me sat by a fire pit in the cold crisp night air sipping port wine. The only things missing were cigars, smoking jackets, and rocking chairs.

Yesterday (at work) we filmed a video that I conceptualized for a co worker who was trying to score one of those quad rider thingamajigs for our department. The US Smokeless Tobacco conglomerate, association, corporation, organization or whatever the fark it's called, apparently gives several of these four wheelers away each year to police departments.

Much like pursing a grant etc., they want to know why they should give one to your particular law enforcement organization. They want you to be creative to show that you're different. My co worker knew she wanted to make a video and ran some ideas by me because she knows I'm into film and have a bit of experience in that realm. To be honest, her ideas were absolute crap! After a few variations I came up with what I thought would work best. It was short, to the point, as well as dramatic with a bit of humor thrown in. Something for everyone.

We were assisted by the TV36(?) Anchor girl, (she looked too young to be a lady & wore too much make up) and a friend of hers who was a filmmaker. I think they shot it on video. They provided all the equipment as well as their time for free, although I think the town did in fact pay the girl, and the cameraman got some nookie! I'll attempt to briefly sum up the video.

It begins with a punk thug walking into a gas station convenience store where he distracts the clerk while he steals several canisters of Chewing (or what they now like to call it), "smokeless tobacco". I think they feel that's a nicer way to tout an alternative way to get cancer as opposed to smoking which is stinky and nasty!

After the theft, the thug hauls ass in his getaway vehicle (my obvious unmarked police- car) and the clerk realizing what's happened gives chase. He flags down a cop (my co worker) driving her police cruiser through the parking lot and gives her a description of the felon. She is then in hot pursuit.

Our lawless infidel (played by a rookie cop) is parked by some woods checking out his swag when he spots the police cruiser and takes off on foot across a footbridge into the woods. The cop runs up and stops, looks at the camera remarking how if she had one of those quads she'd be able to capture the criminal. Yes, corny, dumb, and slightly stupid, but the best we could do with very little time and manpower.

It's now out of our hands, as the filmmakers edit it. I'll be curious and a bit afraid to see the final results at the big premiere at Cannes. It should be noted that I in NO way support the US Smokeless Tobacco people in ANY way, shape, form, creed, religion, or color. I'm a big anti-smoking guy as my mother died from severe emphysema many years ago. It's an absolutely TERRIBLE way to die for all those involved.

Let see, what else is goin' on? I've got the 2nd big and scary family gig coming up. It's a celebration of my older brothers 50th(I think) birthday. Fortunately I was able to sucker some poor woman into joining me. It took quite a bit of alcohol, a little pill, and a videotaped commitment for it to happen, but now that we're passed the ugly business it will hopefully be a good time. If she wasn't coming I most likely would not be attending. Hey it's free food and booze at some swanky joint! Who could pass that up?

Now I just need to get a date for my friends December 5th Christmas party. I'll have to see if I can dig up that "Idiots Guide to Stalking" book I had laying around somewhere. I'm probably a bit rusty and I'm sure it will help.

After much consideration, I think I'm FINALLY gonna break down and purchase a computer. Many people have been pestering me for years to do so. I'm NOT caving! It's MY decision. I don't really like change but I suppose it'll be good to upgrade from my stalwart and dependable, not to mention technically obsolete MSNTV. I haven't actually gone shopping yet, but I have spoken to some computer nerds and have done a bit of research on the web.

I think I'm gonna go with a Mac with a 24" monitor. I've heard many good things about the apple. It's apparently pretty simple to use and you don't have to deal with all those pesky little virus things. On top of that, I also hope to be finally purchasing a decent digital camcorder and the Macs are great for film editing etc. There's also a very cool music program you can install which could be fun. OK, that's it for now. I gotta bounce! I've got band rehearsal in about an hour.

Oh, by the way. Do any of you out there in cyber land happen to have a cool name for my band? I've come up with POG (Pathetic Old Guys) Weezer and the Geezers, as well as Worst Case Scenario. Let me know what you think. Thanks.

Hey look Stef, another post that's awfully long.

Heading South

This weekend I'll be heading down to the shore (LBI) to help my best buddy get his beautiful shore house winterized. It'll be nice to get away if only for a short time. Although it's only a one hour and forty minute car ride, it's far enough away where it seems, well, far enough away.

I actually prefer being down the shore in the off season. Sure it's cold, but it's quiet and relaxing. The NJ shore gets it share of bashing as well as the state itself, but it's usually by people who've never visited or spent much time here. Ya just gotta know where to go. We have absolutely beautiful beaches as well as mountains and forests. We even have country with farms, chickens, cows 'n stuff. Yessiree Bob! In fact, NJ enjoys all four seasons and I myself reside only about forty five minutes outside NYC depending on traffic/weather conditions.

Well that's pretty much my weekend. I don't 'spect I'll have time to post, but who knows? The shadow knows! stranger things have happened. Lord willing, I'll be back Monday. Speaking of weekends, I hope you enjoy yours. Be well.

Please Don't Eat the Daisies!

As I've mentioned before, I'm not much of a TV watcher. Preferring instead to watch DVD season sets at my leisure. Anyone who's been following my blog (That means you Stef) knows I'm a very BIG fan of the show Pushing Daisies. If your not familiar with the show scroll waaaaaaaaaay down where I've written a bit about it.

I predicted the show probably wouldn't last more than two seasons if even that long as it's very well written, clever, witty, smart, etc. Unfortunately shows like this tend to fade away in the ratings due to today's mostly dumbed down short attention spanned viewership that for unknown reasons revels in mediocrity.

This morning I was reading an interview with one of the stars (hottie) Kristin Chenoweth. She stated that they just wrapped up filming of season two and were waiting to hear whether the network would be finishing out the season. It didn't sound very promising despite numerous Emmy nods. How sad it would be if we, the viewership, were unable to enjoy the full second season. We'll see what happens. Chenoweth mentions it's pretty much down to the wire.

At least we'll always have a DVD release to look forward to regardless of whether the series is cancelled or not. Even if it is ultimately kaboshed, several shows have actually returned to network lineup due to a very strong fan base. Some shows that come to mind are; Family Guy (love it!), Jericho, and Joss Whedon's (Buffy) Sci-Fi western epic Fire Fly. Later released as a major motion picture titled Serenity. So there's ALWAYS hope! Here's to hoping. Now hop to it.

My Posts

I was recently made aware that my posts tend to be extraordinarily long in length. Attempting to be more sympathetic to my extremely close knit readership, I vow here and now (& rhyme too!) to be more mindful of this. It's a very important point and I'm grateful to Stefany and the many others who kindly and unsolicited brought this VERY important matter to my attention. I promise to cut to the chase and lean the beef as it were or is. I further vow to be much more concise in my editing of said posts. I will endeavor to use all the editing and writing skills taught to me at Princeton University by one of their finest English professors, Miss Wolters. At one point, when I was on the precipice of failing her class, she of kind heart and resilient soul, took me under her wing. She rose above and beyond the call of duty to help me raise my grades up to a more than satisfactory passing level. She would tutor and mentor me every free moment she could find and ladies and gentleman, she had very little time to spare. She would help me into the wee hours of the morning, instructing me to obtain the greatness which fallowed in my large intestines. She even helped me most every weekend. All weekend! Time and again (what does that mean?) I would offer to compensate her either monetarily or through constant offers to run errands or build the house she wanted. Even Little things like stealing a car or assassinating someone of her choice. She would ALWAYS adamantly refuse! I put her way up there on a pedestal with likes of Gandhi and Mother Theresa. Perhaps even higher than that! Perhaps she could even stand tall with the Giants; Marsha Brady, Elvis, Betty Boop and Believe it or not, Little Orphan Annie. Yes folks, she's that amazing! In fact, I now propose to write a letter to our new president elect demanding that he name a Federal holiday after her that gives the hard working people of this country and a little planetoid I know of, about three blocks from the milky way, south of the Death Star, three weeks off a week with no pay. At the very least they should name a Candy bar after her!

I deeply and sincerely apologize after realizing I got a bit sidetracked. To further continue on, if shortening my posts would cause readership to grow and lower the boredom factor, I will now enact the FLAST INITIATIVE this day of our Lord November twentieth two thousand eight! Let this new proclamation read as follows; BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH , BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH , BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, with some more BLAH added for effect, followed by yet an overstatement of BLAH, with a bit more BLAH thrown in just to drive the message home. The very last thing I'd like to add just to make my self crystal clear is...........BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Not only was that repetitive, it was quite difficult, monotonous, and tiring to type!


I also vow NO NEW TAXES! So there! Eat that on a plate of spaghetti with a side of corn beef hash with eggs and cream cheese. Followed up with a 1% milk chaser. Hell, throw in the whole damn organic cow for craps sake!


THE END

MAYDAY-MAYDAY! We're Goin' Down!

The holidays are quickly descending upon us! That means a few parties and appropriately themed events. That means dates. In my case, most likely alone. Last year, absolutely no problem. I had an affable and lovely companion to accompany me to all the holiday shin digs. She even waived compensation! This year I may have to resort to an escort service. I never thought it would come to this. Perhaps due to the downturn of the economy, They'll be offering a substantial discount to approved applicants not currently wanted by law enforcement of third world nations.

Next week, the day after my thankful giving or more appropriately taking, I'm scheduled to attend my eldest brothers birthday bash. The last family event went swimmingly (without drowning) thanks to my underage escort. Thank God she had amazingly convincing fraudulent ID! After that, it's my best friends bash at his business, followed by a Christmas party held at a swanky nearby country club for two hours. That's all they could afford. This presented by the cemetery board. I'm aware it sounds a bit morbid, but surprisingly they put on a good spread. Last years was a good time all the way around despite the bathroom incident with the high heels and Batman Underoos. I won't get into it. Check You Tube.

I'm sure they'll be one or two others I'll be invited to if I bring my own food and beverages. Sadly, It won't be the same this year. On the upside, I have cast my lines and nets unto the holy waters of Babylon. We'll see if I can catch any fish. The bait these day is questionable.

Black Kloud Karma

What the hell is going on?! What have I done to offend thee? I don't get it. Just when I thought things were finally getting better, they seemingly escalate into massively unpleasant events! One right after the other. I'm toppling like a row of human dominoes!

The Day started out relatively normal (for me anyway) enough, which included me actually waking up. That's usually a good thing. As I sat up in bed I noticed all my sheets and blankets were missing. WTF?! Aliens? Poltergeists? Bigfoot? The cleaning lady? I didn't know and I couldn't say. OK, whatever. I didn't have time to investigate as I had overslept as usual. The first order of morning business oversleeping or not is a scalding hot cupa mud (coffee for you laypersons).

After downing the coffee, causing third degree burns to my larynx, I prepared for my yearly shower. Not only had I apparently run out of clean towels, but when I turned on the water, dark brown liquid came gushing out! Now what?! I had very little time to get pretty so I took a sponge bath in my sink as the running water there seemed to be an acceptably clear approximation of how h20 should be. I then finished up with an "Italian Shower", which is a massive dosing of Cologne. I threw on some wrinkled clothes that were laying on the floor, did a quick sniff test and was out the door.....................................into SNOW?!

I had been in such a rush that I had not even peered out the window to view this way too early winter wonderland. I'd say there was about a foot of snow on the ground. I don't recall a weather forecast calling for this stuff. On top of that it was absolutely freeeeeeezing out! I dug through the snow to locate the all important daily news paper but wasn't having much luck at all. Doing this with no gloves on of course. What's that yellow stuff in the snow? Aw for craps sake! YELLOW SNOW! I had my hand in yellow snow! How thoughtful that a dog would write a morning greeting for me. On the positive side I found the paper. X or yellow marks the spot!

I got in my car and turned the key. Nothin'. After all that, now my cars engine won't turn over?! Fortunately after several attempts the mighty Element roared to life and I was on my way to work. I kid you not, I got as far as one block when I got stuck in a long line of cars that seemed to be going nowhere fast. Eventually I moved up far enough to see there had been a five car accident. There were three ambulances and two fire trucks, along with a few of my co workers attending to the scene. Finally made it to work. My lengthy commute door to door is almost exactly one mile. It took forty five f-ing minutes to get there.

As I rushed to the entrance to clock in, I hear a mysterious hissing sound coming from behind me. I turn around to see my cars front drivers side tire going flat. Great! Just great. Anything else? Really?! May as well bring it all on at this point. No sooner had I got in the door when I got an earful of wax from my occasional jack ass of a boss. With my head hung low and a very slow shuffle of feet, I made my way to my office ("the icebox") fighting the tears that felt like bullets anticipating being shot from a high velocity sniper rifle. I then sat down at my desk and made this whole damn story up.

AIN'T I A STINKA?!


Yes I may have taken a few truthful liberties, with a smattering of embellishment, but come on, admit it. I got ya. You've been had! Officially and cyberly had! Truthfully though, I did wake up this morning and it was quite cold.

Don't be mad. Life can be pretty boring. I guess I'm just the cop who cried Wolfe! :^)

Wow................Looky How Pretty!

I had just finished writing my most recent post, and had just clicked over to check it, and there it was before me, in all it's amazing splendor and wonder! My NEW and IMPROVED (at least visually) blog. Yes sir folks, FLAST has a new look thanks to my very good friend and fellow percussionist Count Bobula of Square Mellon Communications. THANKS Robert! It's lookin' great so far. With a few tweaks it'll be almost perfect, and nothings perfect except me!, and Bob to a lesser extent. Bob is a very talented guy. An artist and musician extraordinaire. He owns and operates a very cool advertising agency in my little burg of Wastefield New Jersey, in the good ol' US of A!

Let me know what you think of the new look, but don't ever forget, Brother Eye is ALWAYS watching!

Toe-ing The Line

If you've read my prior post, you've learned of my recent pain and suffering. I will now share with my readers my latest tale of woe. The other morning with a sleepy head, I was descending my somewhat treacherous stairs in order to retrieve the daily newspaper. About halfway down my feet sailed off the steps as my legs flew in an upward motion. Quick as a cat, I reached one arm out to grab the banister. As I did this, I felt the big toe of my right foot bend in the opposite direction.

Fortunately I was able to prevent myself from tumbling down the stairwell to certain death. Of course this all happened very quickly although that slow motion thing kinda kicked in, except it was really fast slow motion. I found I had slipped on a still wet umbrella left by yours truly on the steps the night before. It of course didn't help that I hadn't turned a light on to actually see where it was I was going. BRILLIANT!

I stopped panting like a dog, forcing my mouth to shut. I put my eyes back into their respective sockets, continuing my journey, (much more carefully) downward. My toe suffered some discomfort throughout the day, but I wasn't in agony. The next day while taken a shower, (it had been a few weeks) I noticed a bruise on the top of my big toe. I thought I might have accidentally dropped something on it, or perhaps kicked something but I couldn't recall. I had forgotten about my Jerry Lewis maneuver on the stairs. My toe was still a little sore, but not too painful.

The next day I noticed that the bruise had grown larger, covering most of the top of the toe. It looked a little crooked too. it seemed a bit swollen as well. I did a visual comparison of both toes. It was a little difficult to tell, but I was pretty sure the toe on my right foot was slightly larger and a bit off center than my left toe. I'm pretty sure I busted it and from what I understand there's not much I can do about it. It hurts, but the pain has been tolerable. That is until today when I switched to heels. Now it's really quite painful! Come on now, I'm kidding about the heels.......................really!

I know it seems like I'm completely falling apart, but I'm not dead yet........yet! My recent spat of physical woes has got me down a bit and I'm feeling somewhat pathetic, but it could be worse I guess. At least I've still got all my mental facilities intact.

Wait a minute! Where is this place? What the hell am I doing here and who the hell am I?!

MRI Part II OR Just Take Me Behind the Barn and Shoot Me!

Last week, whilst on my exciting vacation, I went to visit my orthopedist. He would finally review the MRI's of my left knee taken about one month prior.

As I had previously mentioned some prior hip pain, he had a technician x-ray the ol' hipparoonies while he examined the MRI's of my knee. I always found it interesting that while having any kind of x-rays performed, the technician runs stealthily from the room into the safety of their lead lined bomb shelter, while your body soaks up all the radioactive nutrients. Hmmmmm.

While horizontal on the table I noticed that the camera, (for lack of the correct technical name) had been placed just above a very delicate and vulnerable part of my anatomy. Think South. I realize this was necessary as it was my hip area that required the x rays. It was the great concern of what was located between my hips that caused the slight mental fatigue and anxiety.

As far as I can recall, all the prior x rays I've ever had done included some form of flexible lead protective thingy to well, protect me. This time I got nothin'! Zilch, zip, nada. I must admit all kinds of thoughts were flowing through my twisted little mind. My immediate thought was a "glow stick". You know those plastic tubes that you snap, causing two chemicals (of unknown origin) to mix. The end result being a bright phosphorescent glow. Those things are pretty cool right? Probably not so much if it were happening to a very important part of me that means quite a lot!

Then again.......................................................that could actually be VERY cool! Just think of all the benefits. I could join the circus, or at least the sideshow. I could be a Jedi Master in the latest Star Wars production. The force would definitely be with me as I'd have my own personal built in light saber! There's always the small possibility that it could improve my sex life and/or dating situation...............................................nah!

Meanwhile, back in the waiting room, I was reading the latest issue of Martha Stewart's magazine, (great article on nude scrap booking by the way) when the doctor entered the room. He's a good guy. Young guy. Used to be a doctor for a pro basketball team. Don't ask which one. He looked me in the eyes and gave me the classic; "do you want the good news or the bad news first"?

I began to feel a build up of sweat on my forehead and upper lip. My eyes darted around the room, searching for an emergency exit, ready to bolt, but I took a deep breath and swallowed hard. I asked the doctor if I was a brave boy would I get a lolli or toy? He told me no. Followed by, put your diapers on, shut up and listen.

The good news was they found a cyst in my knee. THAT'S the GOOD news?! Oh joy! He went on to state that it appeared benign, but if it gets any larger they're going to have to amputate. Then came the bad news. After examining the x rays of my hips, it was clear to see arthritis was setting in. Greaaaaaat. Eventually, (he couldn't say when) I would probably have to get one or both hips replaced. WTF?! I'm only fo.....................years old for craps sake!

He said it was most likely genetic and there wasn't much I could do. What a great start to my tropical vacation! My old man had a hip replacement back in the day. I don't recall him dancin' with the stars, doing the cha-cha, or smoothly gliding through the room. In fact, you'd think with his bionic hip he'd be the six million dollar man. Not a chance. He was lucky to be the six dollar man, with tax.

Many years ago my family had an amazing German Shepherd named Max. I was pretty young at the time. I recall him suddenly walking strangely. Slower, and with a slight limp. I remember this being very upsetting to me. He eventually began to drag his leg. His paw became covered with cuts and abrasions and had to be bandaged to protect it from further injury. As his hip and leg worsened, apparently causing much pain and discomfort, a decision was made to put poor Max "to sleep". I was completely devastated.

He was one of the greatest dogs we ever had. It was either my mother or father who explained that it was quite common for Germain Shepherds to suffer in later years from hip problems. Thinking about this made sense. I am part German after all. I'll be suspicious if someone wants to take me on a trip to the veterinarians office. Someday I hope to see ol' Max again. We can have a nice long chat about our lousy hips over cigars and brandy.

Well this sucks! I guess I'm gonna have to start dating nurses or physical therapists. Don't get old kids. Appreciate your youth while ya still got it. Now will someone bring me a damn walker or wheel chair!

I've fallen and I can't get up!

Return of the Prodigal Son!

Here I is for better or worse! Did ya miss me? Na. Well I didn't miss youse neither!

Gone Fishin'

Somewhat impulsively, I decided to take one of my last two remaining vacation weeks in 2008. I'll be on holiday, staying at my rented villa located in New Jersey near the island of New York City. I'll be away from November 10Th through the 14Th.

I hope to post a bit although since I do my posting from work, I'm not sure if I'm gonna want to be anywhere near here. We'll see. Regardless of whether I post or not, I know I'll be terribly missed by the few who don't even know me. As I wipe away my lone slowly moving tear, know that there's a possibility I may feel the same.............somewhat, but probably not.

Adieu.
Good bye.
So long.
Later.
See ya.
I'm outta here.
Gotta bounce.

Ah-reev-a-del-chay.
Ah-veeta-sain.

Hopefully you know those last two which I can't spell, yet attempted to spell out phonetically, but probably got them wrong anyway!

Dancing Around The Architecture

Build them up then knock them down
A wreaking ball that makes no sound
Weakened foundations and flimsy designs
Make sure to stay within the lines
Drawing the plans with hopes and dreams
Pour cracking cement and fix splintered beams
Paint on the outside now good as new
Held together with bent nails and glue

-CLW
All rights reserved

Anatomy of Humanity

Born of two
God and tears

All the same
Yet all not

Raised and desired
Abandoned and hated
Joy and sadness
Love and hate
Hopes and dreams
Failures and triumphs
War and peace
Right and wrong

All conclusions
Dust to dust

Father Forward Father Back

Does the apple fall far
A question posed
Impressionable youth
Larger than life

A trans-parent ghost
Flesh bone and blood
Here and there
In and out

Vanish like smoke
Sailing to nowhere
Selfish in exile
Brief memories fade

Prodigal man
Return to nothing
Minds of torment
Hearts well splintered

Glass houses shattered
Resolutions diluted
Time is the enemy
Vanquished within

Pictures in frames
Nameless faces
Eyes tightly shut
Silent phones wait

Alone on a floor
Day after day
Dust in a box
Hidden away

-CLW
All rights reserved

When Did You Last See Your Father?

On occasion I hope to write a series of movie reviews of films I've recently viewed via my friend's at Netflix, however I also have quite an overwhelming backlog of films I'd also like to eventually review if/when I get the time.

The title of this blog is the film I watched last night. It's a smaller scale character driven independent film. These are the types of film I tend to enjoy. It's a "daddy issue" film, and since I have a few "daddy issues", I cautiously welcome films such as this with keen interest infused with apprehension.

A couple of these films have touched me emotionally, apparently striking a nerve that, much to my distress, opens the flood gates. I prefer to view such films privately for obvious reasons. Occasionally I'll be watching a film I know next to nothing about and a "DI" will spring up causing me to clench my teeth and render my eyes of any moisture. Wow, my allergies are suddenly acting up.

I have a very good friend, (with "DI's") who tends to react similarly. Two films which come to mind immediately are Big Fish and Field of dreams. The latter being a baseball film not at all about baseball. I was never a huge sports fan. I find these films not to be of much interest to women.

I'm not sure why I subject myself to them. Perhaps I'm looking for them to help in the healing process or possibly I just like to torment and torture myself. Probably a bit of both. I apologize for the lengthy prelude. Anyone familiar with this blog is aware that happens frequently. Let's finally get to the review, shall we.

This film, directed by Anand Tucker, stars academy award winner Jim Broadbent, (Indiana Jones, Harry Potter, Bridget Jones) and Colin Firth, (The English Patient, Bridget Jones, Shakespeare in Love, Love Actually). They play father and son. The son seems to hold some deep resentment for his father, which the father seems oblivious to. The relationship wasn't terrible, but the father had a habit of being negative. Instead of building up his son through acknowledgement and praise, he tends to regularly correct him, while dismissing accomplishments, even the small ones. This often occurs in front of others.

The story is told in flashbacks, reverting back and forth to the present. Many of the flashbacks flip between the man as a child and awkward teen. Early on in the film we discovery his father is struck ill with an incurable cancer and doesn't have much time left to live. The son struggles with attempting to finally tell his father how he's felt all these years hoping to resolve the resentment and distance that the boy has created between himself and his father.

The son is aware he doesn't have much time to communicate his heart, and at every possible chance to do so it seems a situation arises that disallows him that moment he longs for. Although the sons emotions are shown to be subtle, his quiet desperation can be seen.

The acting is well done by these veteran English actors. It's simply a good film and worth a look. This quiet little film is somewhat slow moving with few surprises as well as a few cliches. With that in mind, this film may, or may not be your cup of tea. (get it? silly English reference).

As my sense of film sets in, as well as my Virgo sensibilities, there is an emotionally devastating, well done and touching scene towards the end of the film, where I feel it actually should have ended. If ended there, and if you watch it you'll understand, it would probably please very few of the audience, however at this point he finally shows the emotions he's been holding in check for most of the film. The rest that follows that scene seems tacked on to me. Perhaps that was indeed how the film ended, but when shown to a test audience (which I tend to frown on) the studio heads decided that a re edit or re shoot was necessary to bring about a more solid resolution.

I believe sometimes a film shouldn't have a nice tidy ending. Everything resolved for the audience. Nice and neat. Occasionally I think some of these studios think the audience to be somewhat dim, feeling the need to spell everything out, having the audience leave the theater happy, smiling, and satisfied.

I'll give you a "for instance". If you've seen Sideways, what makes the film more satisfying for me was the open (to interpretation) ending. Was she home? Would she reject him? Would she let him in? That ending, to me, made a decent film slightly better. If you've not seen sideways it too is worth a look. It's a bit better in my opinion than the previously reviewed film, though not as emotionally satisfying.

Could someone bring me some more popcorn and a tooth pick please?

Mental Vertigo

Hey guys and dolls-

As fascinating as my blog and highly interesting posts are, check out the above named blog owned and operated by a lovely young lass, Stefany, from the odd state of Ohio.

She's pretty self aware, always interesting, if not a bit nutty.

Did I get that right Stef?
I'll need that $50.00 before you change your mind.

I'll accept a check or money order. Sorry, FLAST does not accept credit cards. I'm sure you understand in these trying, difficult, economically challenged times. Thank you.

Stupid T-Shirts

The alternate title to this post is: "I'm running out of pertinent or important or interesting thoughts or views or opinions of absolutely any kind to post- post".

Desperate to entertain the masses who diligently read my almost daily posts, I give you the silly, the ridiculous, the rude, and at times obnoxious and most likely not funny things people are bold enough to wear on t-shirts or proudly proclaim on bumper stickers.

Ya ready kids?, 'cause we go!

- I'm not obsessive compulsive, I'm just super meticulous
- I'm not bossy, I just know what you should be doing
- If I'm talking shouldn't you be taking notes?
- Yet despite the look on my face, you're still talking
- I'm a bad ass. Your just an ass
- A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say
- The jerk store called. They're running out of YOU!
- I haven't had my coffee yet. Don't make me kill you
- The say I have A.D.D., but they just don't understand. Oh look! A tree!
- Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver
- National Sarcasm Society- Like we need your support
- To err is human. To arrrr is pirate
- Careful or you'll end up in my novel
- Dare to be indifferent
- You say petty & vindictive like it's a bad thing
-Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before
- Sometimes I wonder..."Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?"...& then it hits me.

OK. that's MUCH MORE than enough! I'm sure there are MANY others. I'll post those in the next five minutes.

If you got this far, which you probably didn't, which means your not reading this, I'm proud of you.

The Procrastinators Checklist

#1-

The Language of Trees

Tall and mighty roots firmly in ground
Tales of the ages recorded in rings
Long slender branches weakened by storms
The whistling wind weaves without care
Majestic solitude guarding the acres
The leaves shall return to sing nature's song


-CLW
All rights reserved

Away From Here

Hearts fly away
Wingless and free
The letting go
Of what needs to be
Tears of sorrow
Drops of rain
Weathered faces
Lined in pain
Grasping air can't be done
Where there were two
Now there is one


-CLW
All rights reserved

Emotional Residue

Lingering flashbacks
of pain and of joy
Ingrained in the man
emerged from the boy

An absentee father
A mother alone
The love that was taken
The love that was shown

Black and white
With gray throughout
Growing up fast
Littered with doubt

The man and the clock
Walk side by side
Now growing old
Time to abide


-CLW
All rights reserved

Homicide

Lead bullet dread
trigger finger bled
Shot the head
Dead in bed
Nothing is said

-CLW
All rights reserved


I'm not sure of the above format. It's certainly not rap or hip hop. I'm pretty sure it's not haiku. I guess it is what it is.

We Have a Winner!- Historically Speaking

I've always been on the fence about politics and politicians in general. On the one hand I understand their place. On the other hand I'm somewhat leary, weary, and distrustful of them as well as the government they serve. However, I try to stay optimistic despite being a self labeled; optimistic pessimist.

I'm a registered republican (Boo-Hiss!) although as I've gotten older I've leaned slightly to the democratic side. Does that make me a democratic republican or a republican democrat. I think the first one flows better as written and spoken.

As I've mentioned in an earlier post (see below) I'm not a huge fan of either McCain nor Obama. Obama has won the presidency, and it was pretty clear he would. I would have been very surprised if McCain had won and pulled a major upset. I have to say however I think It's pretty cool that this country has become somewhat open minded and dare I say slightly progressive enough to elect our first black president. I'm not sure if we'll ever see a female president, but at this point it seems anything is possible.

All I know is that the country had grown tired of the "Bush Leagues". We gave the "Bushster" a chance, (two in fact) and he blew it! The people want change. They need change. They demand change, and they have spoken with their votes! We the people are worried. Lately becoming somewhat of a desperate nation. The eyes of the world are upon us.

I hope and pray Mr. Obama is the right choice. I feel for him, and would hate to be him. He's got quite a mess to clean up. We'll give him a chance. We have too much to lose at this point.

Good luck President elect Obama. We wish you well.

Gotta Hand It To The Gals

According to today's NY Post, "A study has found that women carry a greater variety of bacteria on their hands than men do- and that we all have more types of bacteria on our hands then expected".

"The Researchers aren't sure why woman hold a wider scope of bacteria than men. Noah Fierer and study co-author Rob Knight, a Colorado biochemistry professor, think it may have to do with men generally having more acidic skin than women".

- Randolph E. Schmid (Washington)




- Edited by me for content ("Ice Box"- NJ)

We're cleaner than you are! We're cleaner than you are!, said the childish men in childish sing song voices to the women who only became mildly annoyed and rolled their eyes. Me personally, I'll risk the germs. Boo-Ya!

"E DAY"

Today's the big day. They (who are they?) say we can make a difference. Get off your @$$ and vote!

I agree, somewhat. I'm thankful for the freedom to have the opportunity to vote for whomever I choose. To be honest, I've been somewhat ignorant of the candidates. I've been trying to play catch up gleaning facts and policies before I hit the polls at some point today. I'm having a somewhat difficult time deciding between McCain and Obama. I could flip a coin I suppose.

I'm really not too crazy about either one. They both have their strengths and weaknesses. I've never been a political person. Opinionated? yes. Passion for politics, no. I have a hard time trusting politicians. Do they really care to create a better nation for us, or is there a more personal agenda at play. I understand they have to make their share of promises to be elected, however I can't help thinking that between being supported by major corporations with very persuasive lobbyists and people with big bucks, these candidates are somewhat indebted to them and feel a great responsibility to give back, through favors, for all the financial support that ultimately helped them win the election.

I know this may sound somewhat insane, and I could be perceived as a conspiracy nut, but for unknown reasons I feel the president doesn't have as much power as we're lead to believe. Let me attempt to explain. I feel there's a possibility of a group of people that "guide" the president, but are ultimately responsible for this countries major decisions. Yes it could be his "chosen cabinet". I don't necessarily believe in an all powerful "Illuminati" controlling everything hidden behind a mysterious secretive shroud..............or do I? ;^)

I have absolutely no proof or documentation to back this up. It's just one of the many crazy thoughts I've entertained in my overly imaginative cranium. Our society would be unable to relate to a group of people, so one has been placed in power because we as a people can relate to one on a somewhat intimate level, as opposed to trying to relate to several people. OK, I'm nuts! Whatever.

Hopefully by the end of the work day I'll have a more informed opinion so I'll feel more confident when I vote. It beats closing your eyes and pulling the nearest lever. Wait, I'm showing my age. I think you just push a doohickey button thingy now, right? I could do a write in and vote for myself.

Perhaps I'll vote for Batman!

This nation as well as the world holds its collective breaths. Tomorrow will be a new day. Possibly one of great historical (or hysterical) significance.

Good Night Opus 11-02-08

Sadly another one of my favorite newspaper comics has come to an end.

The sweet, charming, and tubby little penguin named Opus, formally of the Bloom County strip, has retired to the greener pastures of news print heaven. There have been very few comic strips/panels that I have come to love as much as ol' Opus. Most of today's comics bore me. Many of them that have been around a long time feel antiquated despite attempting to stay hip and current. Two prime examples would be; Ziggy and Blondie. I'm sure there are several others that don't come to mind at the moment.

Most newer strips don't seem to convey the intelligence, sharpness and wit, infused with a bit of heart that I desire. It's very difficult to compete with two of my favorite classic strips of ALL time; The Far Side and Calvin and Hobbes. These were brilliant examples of comic strip/panel perfection.

Unfortunately the creators eventually burned out and ended the series somewhat abruptly. I guess there's really no other way to do it. I can't imagine keeping up that level of creativeness day in and day out, including Sundays, for so many years. At least they ended while they were still on top and I believe that's the best way to go. You may alienate people and anger fans, but too bad. They should be thankful for the strips as long as they lasted. After all, they can easily purchase the published compilation books if they so desire.

This is exactly how Opus is bowing out. I was unaware the strip was ending. I actually only followed it on Sundays. To be honest, I'm not even sure if it was published daily. I'm most often aware of this kind of news, whether it's learning about it on the Internet, seeing it on TV or hearing about it on the radio, or some other form of media.

Although the strip and main character seemed sweet and innocent, the strip would often be anything but. The strip could be absolutely scathing, especially when it came to politics. It tackled current topics head on without apology, BUT it had heart, and that's I think what made it palpable for most people. It certainly wasn't for everyone. You definitely had to use your brain and think a bit. It wasn't one of those sweet sugary smooth going down kinda things.

The first hint of trouble was Sunday 10-26-08. I could tell something was wrong. The strip was somewhat vague, but it was pretty clear that something was up. Opus was gone from the county animal shelter. Where did he go?! I felt a cliffhanger of suspenseful magnitude had been presented and to be honest, I was a bit weary and afraid of what was to come. All week leading up to Sunday I had a feeling of diabolical dread. What was going to happen? Was it a bluff?, a publicity stunt of some kind, or perhaps it was a famous Hitchcockian "McGuffin"?

And then Sunday arrived. I opened the front door to see the Sunday Ledger innocently laying there on my walkway taunting me. I picked up the paper like a fragile newborn and removed the rubber band that was restricting it's movement. I carefully carried it upstairs laying it ever so gently on the chair as I prepared my coffee. I opened up the paper removing the comic section, placing it at the bottom of the pile as a delaying tactic. I slowly read all the other sections. I even clipped coupons. Then there was nothing left to read but the comics section.

I dilly dallied, reading my other favorites; Get Fuzzy and Non Sequitur. I even read the lame ones I rarely ever read. Eventually it came down to one. To Opus. It was three simple wordless panels, written and beautifully illustrated by it's very talented creator, Berkeley Breathed.

The final panel of the strip contained a small box that reads, "See the final panel at: HUMANESOCIETY.ORG/OPUS". I don't wish to give anything away. If your a fan, or even aware of the strip, go back and read the past few Sunday's strips. Then go to the website to see Opus's last and final panel. I'll simply say if you know of, or have read Good Night Moon, you'll understand. A very fitting, honorable, and respectful ending to an almost perfect comic. I quickly became misty eyed. My heart strings were tugged, warmed, and touched, much like a hug from Opus. Opus seemed to like hugging very much.

Berkeley Breathed (creator, writer and artist) had written and illustrated several exquisite children's books, including his most recent; Pete and Pickles which I have yet to pick up. I love children's picture books! I read that he will be solely focusing on producing more children's books and that's absolutely fine with me. If I have to lose Opus, at least I'm sure to be gaining some amazing books. Who knows. Perhaps one day Opus, he of the pudgy little penguin body, will return for a visit. Until then, Good night and good luck Opus. I hope you finally realize your wish for wings that work.

Good night Opus
And goodnight air
Goodnight noises everywhere!

Before 11am

I'm not sure if there's an actual scientific name or medical diagnosis, but I have a condition known to myself as "Useless Morning Syndrome". For as long as I can remember, rarely do I become fully, if at all, functioning BEFORE 11am.

My commute to work in the morning is minimal. Approx. one mile door to door. Unlike some of my co workers who travel millions of miles to work, I don't get the luxury of wake up time, arriving at work in my usual drowsy state.

I find the best remedies, non medicinally speaking, is quiet and mild stimulation such as a welcomed cup of coffee occasionally and thoughtfully left by my boy, detective Hobson (also known as "Chocolate Thunder"). I also find reading something, preferably the newspaper helps.

Unfortunately I rarely get to entertain these helpful remedies as my boss(es) more often than not, interrupt my serenity as I bask in the quiet, reassuring and comforting humming drone of the computer servers that lovingly surround me in the "Ice Box", thereby setting a cranky tone for much of the day. The absolute nerve of my boss(es) to expect any kind of work before the time when I can function at some appropriate level to actually accomplish a few menial tasks!

Somewhere between 9:30 and 10:00am, I venture out to ascend upon the "Dirty Deli" for my usual intake of carbs and coffee. If anyone reading this finds themselves suffering from a similar malady, please leave a comment and perhaps we can find a cure for this debilitating disorder together, making this world a better place for fellow useless morning, and hazy of head sufferers.

By the clock on the wall I see it's Perfect timing as it's the appointed time to acquire the items that will assimilate me into the working class. At least 'till my three hour lunch break.

Goodbye Boo..............................

My good friend Bobert informed me that his cat "Boo", of many wonderful years had passed away. I had never heard Bob sound so down in all the time I've known him. I feel badly for both Bob and Rees. That cat meant so much to them. I know all too well what it's like to lose a pet. Especially a cat! Some folks don't understand and that's fine. Only those that have suffered a similar loss can empathize and sympathise. I think depending on the relationship you had with your pet, the feelings of pain and loss can be very similar to that of a loved one. Human or otherwise.

They have another elderly cat named "Scaredy" who seems to sense that Boo is missing. Scaredy seems a bit lost. Apparently Boo lived a very long, healthy and happy life, so I think that makes the loss a bit more tolerable for Bob and Rees.

Goodbye boo! Say hi to Midnight and Toodie for me. Dry your whiskers. He's in a better place. Cat nip all around boys! MEOW.....................