Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Futility of Chasing Daylight

She sat on the edge of her bed. It seemed much larger since he left. She wondered where he was and what he might be thinking, knowing full well it wasn't about her. She licked her lips recalling sweet memories of kisses long since gone.

Letting go had proven difficult, but perhaps for the best, as she had finally found the time and motivation to do and enjoy all the things she had stored in purgatory because of him and his place in her life. She never liked change, and his absence had forced itself upon her daily routine. Change can be good. Change can be healthy; she thought, but did she believe it or was she trying to convince herself.

Her apartment seeming eternally quiet these days, haunted by the ghost of his laughter. With tangible and intangible memories scattered about, she had sincere but empty intentions to organize them one day soon, to be thrown away, placed high on a shelf, or stored in a box eventually to be forgotten. In self manifested anger she had finally taken his pictures down from the walls and shelves where they once advertised love, hope, and longing. Dirty and dusty outlines on the wall and shelves were all that remained.

She had stopped reading his daily horoscope although there was always a lingering temptation to peak as she read her own. The bold black font proclaiming Aquarius glared at her like a neon marquee, daring her to read his fate. She wasn't even sure if she believed in them, but reading them was something they did together every morning, and would discuss at the end of the day to see if their prophecies had come to fruition.

Today being a Friday, she recalled his last minute phone calls, inviting her to have lunch with him in town. Lately she sat quietly eating at her desk, or alone in one of the places they'd share a meal together. Although it pained her, eating in these places brought a slight and desperate comfort. She would accept this quiet subtle suffering in an attempt, however small, to relive those moments.

As the sun set announcing the end of another day, she sat on the edge her bed which seemed much larger since he left. Her heart much smaller. 

1 comment:

C. Louis Wolfe said...

I'm not sure why I wrote that. It just kinda popped into my head when I was SUPPOSED to be working. I think my intension was to write a poem that would be easily visualized, but I guess it morphed into a short story that goes absolutely NOWHERE!