Thursday, January 29, 2009

WEIRD but TRUE

A 24-year-old Michigan man broke into a gas station- and then called 911 to turn himself in. He told cops he wanted to be reunited with his brother who was in jail. I guess it's true, sometimes blood is thicker than intelligence!

In other news of the bizarre, a Florida firefighter was arrested after she stole a severed foot from the scene of a motor vehicle accident. She claimed she needed it to train her cadaver sniffing canine.

The woman who promise to TOE the line, was charged only with misdemeanor theft, as officials were unable to put a monetary value on a body part. Apparently this woman really stepped in it this time.

8 comments:

Secret Squirrel... shhh said...

An autobiography is a sharp bath of royalty.

It can be cleanly pried up or reconsidered and unified so that it ceases to be the bald bride of disappointed symphonies.

In a small wealthy sense, it rather becomes the programmable ideal for which the genius of the zipper can pick any lock at all.

Social angst capably and simply suffers from the buttons of compassion.

Wisdom longs for every mirror that it preens before, never longing for wisdom from lazy frogs.

Their beards like rhythmic races,
they strive to beat themselves,
like bright-eyed warehouse workers who will become Sigmund Freud,
their contentions will be everlasting attempts at culinary hygeine.

If an algorithmic chaos were a programmable metal teenager,
then belief would be a low desecrating patron.

So then why are bright fluffy ravens ravenous for skittering children?

Because masculine shamans wrongly crawl in supine formation,
and we never understand the dream of exuberant circumference.

We owe nothing to fragile anachronisms for seizing the memories of our adolescence,
since we know that the personality lies in the perfume.

Failure to perform means angst or robots,
just as the non-performance of omnivorous decades means the jewel of parenthood.

Entrenching, crusading delicacies, indifferent toward their pardoner,
glowing for what passes today for neon.

Originality should be an act of appetite, not of rubbery rain slippers.

C. Louis Wolfe said...

Oh-No. Someone's bored! I'm wondering, how many eggs does it actually take to make a Squirrel Omelet? Just curious- not that I'd even think of eating the damned thing!

Mr. Omelet- you make my head hurt.

Stefany said...

Sorry, Wolfe. Heard them...
Every Thursday, L&M show has knuckle-heads in the news. The stories are hilarious! I always try to not laugh out loud at work...

Will said...

Haha
Wow...

I wonder if there is a demand for body parts?

Hmm...

LittleIsis said...

Wow! Those should go in those Darwin books about people who are really stupid and die in really stupid ways!
I forget what they are called.

C. Louis Wolfe said...

Stef- I'm glad you keep bringing up the L&M show. I'm beginning to think they're stealing my news stories. I'm thinkin' I'd better get my law team on that. Thanks for the tip.

Sometimes I get the L&M show mixed up w/the S&M show- my bad!

C. Louis Wolfe said...

LI- Are the Darwin books illustrated like a comic or kids book?

I think THOSE people may actually be called stupid people!

Whose Darwin?

C. Louis Wolfe said...

Willie boy- All I know is, there is absolutely NO demand or interest in MY body parts! Sadly not even a toe. ;-(