Friday, January 2, 2009

Dating and the Older Blogger

Blog-1! 
Dating-0!

I've recently been dating a bit after deciding to FINALLY make a effort to move past the ex. She easily did it, so I should follow her lead as well. Surprisingly or not, statistics say it takes a man much longer to get over (and heal after) an ended relationship than it does the ladies. Well ladies, Is that true?

Back in the early fall I briefly dated a woman with whom family friends set me up thinking we'd be a "perfect match". I can tell within one hour whether or not I'm interested. Most people disagree and tell me to give it more time. Give the woman a chance or fair shake if you will. She was sweet and not unattractive, but there wasn't the connection I want and long for. I've tried the creepy and somewhat deceptive on-line dating game to mild success, however I prefer to meet women through friends and acquaintances or by simply pimping myself out without assistance.

More recently I've had the pleasure of dating a wonderful woman from work. Well, she doesn't work with me, but works in the same building. She initially avoided going out due to our close proximity of employment. I respected how she felt as I tend to be a private person and don't wish for anyone to have details of my life unless I choose to provide them. I've seen her here and there during the past several years, but never had any direct contact with her until I required discovery materials for a case I was working. That was the ice breaker and it was all downhill for her from there.

She's a single mother with a lovely daughter in her early teens. I enjoy her company very much and we were beginning to spend quite a bit of time together. She of course took a liking to me, beguiled and bedazzled by my many bizarre charms, and why shouldn't she! Plain and simple she was sweet on me. They say it's all about timing and for the most part that's true. My timing tends to be usually untimely! When I first started to pursue her I was in a certain place. By the time we had finally agreed to see each other I felt I had turned the corner to a different place, but not a better place. I realized it was confusing for her and the last thing I wished to do was play games. It's very unbecoming at our age, although no matter what age, it seems to be a timeless male/female thing. It is what it is.

I knew something was wrong. I could hear it in her voice. We eventually had "the talk", the "maybe we're better off as friends" thing. Perhaps it's best. She is almost fragiley (is that a word?) sweet and kind. It's getting to the point with all the dating I've done, the only thing I think I do well with the opposite sex is the friend thing. Maybe that's enough- I don't know. I'd like to think I'm capable of more. I'm told "not everyone is meant to be married" often enough. I've connected with very few women in my life, and obviously they are no longer around. I'll admit I'm difficult, but in the end I feel I'm worth the trouble and frustration. I've still got a lot to learn at my tender age, but I'm not getting any younger. I know there's still time, but the older you get the less your life long romantic prospects are, at least from what I've seen.

I don't wish to portray my self as a pathetic old maid. I prefer to think of myself as a slightly senile spinster. Nurse- I think my diaper needs changing! 

7 comments:

tia-juana said...

There are 2 things that I am sure of regarding this topic:

Marriage is not only "not for everyone," but is truly an institution which perfectly suits only a lucky few. The rest of the married world is either too lazy or scared to do something about their unhappiness (or a better term might be unsuitable fit).

The other thing I am sure of is that, beyond an inital and very important attraction between two people, there has to be love and acceptance: love is obvious; acceptance is the realization that 2 very different people grow together and know each other and enjoy their differences and ultimately become one in spirit.

You are an amazingly caring, funny, albeit quirky, handsome guy. (You know this - or at least you should.) Maybe you're difficult because you've been living alone for so long - old bachelors die hard. Maybe you're difficult because of the prospect of things not working out - or you just change your mind.

I truly believe that, good or bad, things happen for a reason. And (sometimes) you find things when you stop looking.

Stefany said...

Very well said, TJ! (even though I don't KNOW you or Chris...)

You seem like a very cool guy. A good person to talk to. A person that can be serious at the right moments and funny.

Don't lose hope! Us cynical, pesimistic, difficult "just friends" type will find our day to shine!

Wandering Appalachian said...

Don't really know what to tell you about the dating piece---I'm pretty bad with that sort of thing myself.

Thanks for checking in on my cat. :)

C. Louis Wolfe said...

TJ- Thanks for that intelligent & heartfelt comment. They're ALWAYS appreciated! Obviously you speak from much wisdom- THANKS for sharing. I'm glad you follow my blog when you can. You should start your own, it's FREE!

Stop w/the compliments! Do I owe you money? ;^)

Amazing, caring, funny, albeit quirky, w/o a doubt! Handsome-debatable.

I am however a good smoocher! ;^)~

C. Louis Wolfe said...

Stef- I don't mind you agreeing w/TJ as long as you don't gang up on me!

Today I'm especially shiny- I took a shower for the first time in weeks. I try not to shower during the holidays to remind people what they're really about!

C. Louis Wolfe said...

Thanks for chiming in Gwennie- at least you can relate.

How is your cat?

tia-juana said...

re: smoocher-

it was many and many a year ago...

but I consider that smooch to be the best I ever had! (sadly, only one!)