Technological Terror!

As stated in a few earlier posts, Santa was very good to me in 2008 via myself.

Treating myself to a sweet new Blue Ray disc player, I quickly learned it was pretty much pointless to have one without an amplifier with HDMI connections. So I hither forth to yonder brick and mortar store, purchasing same. I returned home to thy crypt post haste, removing the old amp (which worked perfectly fine aside from being HDMI deficient) and with the help of an ambitious young lad (friends son) hooked up ye new one.

Testing the existing 5.1 (5 speakers to 1 sub woofer) surround sound system it was abundantly clear the sub woofer had sadly failed. A sub woofer is crucial to an audiophile, especially when you've just purchased a new BR player. Sub woofers are very cool during exciting action scenes in a film. If the sound is set correctly, the entire crypt will shake. Thank God I reside at a cemetery.

I transported the Sub to a local high end component store/repair center and kindly asked if they'd test it so I'd know whether I had to purchase a new one or just have the current one repaired. The experts (?) determined the Sub to be substantially corrupted, which was quickly followed by the statement; "We'd be glad to sell you a new one- our prices start at $475.00!" I thinketh not, I thought to myself, fastidiously removing thine self from the establishment.

I traversed the highways and byways until quite weary in a quest for the finest, yet frugally priced Sub woofer to be had. I returned to Ye Old Electronics store that had several weeks hence, facilitated my GPS purchase. The kindly riff raff employed therein solicited a fine piece of machinery at lo a finer price. After exchanging doubloons with the proprietor, I gathered my treasure responding back to thy humble dwellings.

Thinking it to be a quick go of things, I found myself, beside myself with a generous portion of disappointment and melancholy, as the thumping contraption worketh not. I returned defeated to the den of vipers and saint less scamps to return my purchase, after which I once again headed for the treacherous highways and byways that precariously lay before me. Up and down, back and forth, East and West I went, unable to procure my necessary final piece of the confounding puzzle. I felt completely and utterly trumped!

Frustrated to no end, I called the salesman employed at the den of iniquity to inquire as to some final re pass in my fruitless mission. He asked if I had done this. He asked if I had done that. Shamefully I had not. Upon resurrecting an epiphany, he bid me to return hither forth once more. Rolling thine eyes to the heavens I dutifully returned. After much explanation heaped upon a huge dose of confusion, I re-purchased the original sub woofer, mounted my carriage and returned in quite a slow manor to my homestead.

Shortly thereafter the kindly scoundrel arrived at my door to assist (for a modest stipend) me in this unending farce. Flip this, turn that, push this. Nothin'! As he fled my lowly state he inquired that a new RCA SW cable may be all I needed. He then ungraciously vanished into the coming dusk. Once again I set forth, procuring the cable in a quickly manner. Could this be the end of my electronic travesty? Could this herein stressful event finally be converging towards a climatic culmination? So many questions. So many headaches!

I plugged the sucker in and voila- she works! And she works real good.

I profusely apologize for this last post. I originally intended for it to be a quick and simple tale- much like many of my posts- but apparently along the way I became possessed by a really bad Shakespearean actor. I'm sorry. I'm trying to get a handle on what just occurred. I fear I may have permanently lost a significant portion of my blogging audience. I suspect I shall make like the wind and exit stage left!