You'll Shoot Your Eye Out or OOPS!

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my immediate supervisor and I occasionally let off a little steam when and if we're getting along. Things such as trying to scare each other by jumping out of nowhere and screaming, along with other childish pranks that I'll never reveal, at least not on this blog.

The other day I brought a Nerf dart gun to work in hopes of ratcheting up the excitement factor. I bide my time all day waiting for the perfect time to strike. He was sitting in his cubicle, and had just finished speaking to one of my Captains when I leaned over the top, took careful aim, and........................shot him in the eye! Oh crap. A silly harmless prank had suddenly gone awry!

The Captain rolled his eyes muttering something incomprehensible under his breath then quickly walked away. My lieutenant on the other hand grabbed his eye, as his face became beet red. In all honesty, this happens quite often as he's of strong Scottish heritage.

I apologized profusely, but it was clear the only conversation he wished to have entailed screaming and profanities! Sadly, factoring in my occupation, my aim should have been much more precise. I was actually aiming for his crotch- please don't read into that. He's constantly bitching that because he's married he doesn't use it anyway. At the time I thought it to be my best option as a target- certainly NOT his eyeball! If there was one positive to all this it was that he was leaving for the day, so I wouldn't have to spend the day hiding.

After brief consideration, I deemed it best to surrender my firearm. I left it on his desk with a note apologizing for my poor taste of action and that I would turn over my instrument of doom as I felt I may be a danger to myself and others. In the morning of the next day, as soon as I arrived at work, I went directly to see him to once again apologise for my inappropriate behavior.

As I approached him, his back was facing me. I addressed him, and he spun around in his chair to face me..............wearing an eye patch?! Oh $h!t! He said he had gone to the hospital where the doctor decided they would schedule surgery for the following week. He added that he may not ever see out of it again.

Fearing retribution like job loss or law suits, I tried to ease his troubled mind with kind words. I told him chicks dig guys with eye patches. I don't think that went over too well. I then followed that up with pirates are still hip, and that he could work the whole Johnny Depp angle. I told him Mr. Depp is VERY popular with the ladies! I tried to back peddle a bit and told him could be a pirate for Halloween (every year!) and he wouldn't even need a costume.

He looked a little angry as he was getting up from his chair so I thought it best to quickly expedite myself from the room. While avoiding him for most of the day, I later realized the best way to return to his good graces would be to buy him a gift, so after work I'm gonna go to the nearest pet shop and buy him a parrot to sit on his shoulder to keep him company. Yeah, that should do it! Everything will be fine.