No More For Him Mr. Bartender!

Last night I went out with the chief to grab some dinner. I really didn't want to go, but he threatened to fire me, and with today's economy, I relented. We discussed our many choices of eating venues. We, or I should say he, decided on our usual crappy Italian dive in town. One of the motivating factors being a generous discount to gun toting sheriffs. We picked up a bottle of wine, which of course I had to purchase, and headed over. I know the wine part must sound slightly romantic in a VERY creepy way, but the joint is a BYOB and the boss can't eat without booze! Our favorite waitress was employed that evening to slave to the masses. She being Miss Wolters of the Stirling NJ Wolters.

We ate. We drank. I drank TOO much! I'm a lightweight mind you. I rarely consume the devils liquid. It was good however, and before I realized, I had partaken of three glasses of the white. After letting the food and drink settle a bit, we bid our adieus, heading down the block to the next gin joint. What was I thinking? Go home. Leave now while you can still crawl, my inner voice quietly screamed out in my noodled noggin! The old devil and angel sitting on each shoulder whispering sweet nothings in my ears which apparently were filled with peanut butter. Hopefully the good kind. Jif! Creamy and smooth, like budda.

While at the (not so jolly) Trolley saloon, we partook of coffee type drinks. Evilly infused with yet more booze. My immediate supervisor was summoned and arrived to participate in our sinful deeds, consuming only one modest brew. This is the guy I occasionally bitch about in my blog. I prefer his company much more outside of work. I was coherent enough to know I had had enough when I found myself sans pants, and the bartender was grabbing me forcibly, dragging me towards the door.

The chief drove me home. He was kind enough to slow to 5 mph before opening the door only to shove me out by his boot. I must have lain on the roadside a good forty five minutes before being roused by the local constable who helped me inside with a summons pinned to my shirt. I slept upside down in the tub with the water running. I'm fortunate enough to be typing out this tale for you as I could have easily drowned. I'm lucky. You're lucky. Ow, my head hurts! Anybody got some aspirin or something stronger?!